Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: please help!! Husband addicted to drugs and alcohol

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Southern Calif
    Posts
    3

    please help!! Husband addicted to drugs and alcohol

    Hello everyone,
    I don't know if I am at the appropriate board so please redirect me and forgive me if I am in the wrong place!
    In short, I am a Christian wife and mother, married for over 16 yrs with 3 beautiful children. My husband has battled drug and alcohol addiction for several yrs, but beacuse he has a great job and still functions, thinks he is okay. He is hurting us deeply and won't get help or even consult with our pastor. I am at my wits end and feel the children and I need to leave for safety reasons and to open up his eyes. My 11 yr old son is aware of the drinking but not the other addictions which involve speed and pot. He has been hurt by my husbands alcohol use, including his being drunk at my sons birthday, leepover party recently. Help! Should I leave if he refuses to change or get help! Hurting and wanting to follow Gods will in California
    Angie H
    Angie H

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    So Cal
    Posts
    1,319
    Dear Angie - I am so sorry to hear about your husband's struggles with drugs and alcohol. I so wish I had the power to snap my fingers and make the situation all better. I can only pray for you and your family, and I will.

    In the meantime, I think that if you feel you need to remove yourself and your children from your husbands presence in order to protect all of your health and welfare, that might just be what needs to happen. Who knows? Something so seemingly awful might just be the beginning of a real change if it alerts your husband to the destructive nature of his vices. Drugs and alcohol seriously alter the way a person can respond to things that are perfectly logical to anyone else, so simply talking to your husband may not be strong enough to reach him.

    Once you are seperated from him you can help yourself and your children sort through all the mess that this has no doubt created in your own hearts and minds. I don't know of any specific organizations, but I'm sure if you checked your local phone book or online then you could find information on some good counsel for yourself and your children (or maybe your pastor who you mentioned). And be prepared to inform your husband of exactly what he must to do "prove himself" before any reunification will even be considered... make a specific list and don't waiver on it... and don't settle either. Make the list your dream list... tell him the man/husband/father you want him to be and then demand that he step up to the plate because you know that he is fully capable.

    Oh, Angie, I'll be praying that the Lord will give you his strength, his wisdom, and his peace to carry you through whatever road lies ahead. He will carry you through. Keep seeking his guidance through His Word and through prayer.

    Laurie

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    manila PHILIPPINES
    Posts
    44

    have faith

    Dear Angie,
    i know your sitatuion is difficult and tough. I pray that God's perfect will prevail in your situation. May your husband's eyes be open to GOD's truth and power, that the touching of the spirit will begin to minister to him.

    have faith in God and believe HIM for the things He can do in your family now. HE is able. my prayers are with you.

    take care.
    remy

  4. #4
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2003
    Location
    manila PHILIPPINES
    Posts
    44

    have faith

    Dear Angie,
    i know your sitatuion is difficult and tough. I pray that God's perfect will prevail in your situation. May your husband's eyes be open to GOD's truth and power, that the touching of the spirit will begin to minister to him.

    have faith in God and believe HIM for the things He can do in your family now. HE is able. my prayers are with you.

    take care.
    remy

  5. #5
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Southern Calif
    Posts
    3

    Thank you All so much..........

    for your advice and your prayers. I am continuing to seek The Lord in this. My husband vowed to no longer drink or use speed, or coke(which I found out he was using also), as long as he can temporarily use pot and then the goal is to eventually stop that one as well. I don't like the plan, as I object to any illegal drug use, so I told him I can't promise that I can live like that either but as a very temporary solution, I will try to tolerate it but only with the goal to quit all illegal use of any drugs. I hope I am doing the right thing. He said he will not meet with our Pastor as he knows it's wrong, but he likes to do it. He was secretly using pot almost our entire married life without me even knowing so I know this one will be a hard one to kick. I appreciate any further insight and all prayers. I realize this may sound crazy to you all as it does to me too. I just don't know what esle to do. God Bless you all,
    Angie H

  6. #6
    Registered User artmommy29's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    77
    dear angie,

    It is very hard to handle difficult situation like this one and try to have as little confilct as possible. I have to be honest with you. If your husband has been hiding some of his drug use from you for the length of your marriage, he is not an honest person. And, he is lying to you now about quitting as well. No one can handle that alone. He has an addiction and needs help. Your decision to let him continue some of it is only going to prolong the agony and hurt for you and your children. I think you already know this.

    Thing of your children. What example of a man, and husband are they growing up with. Who will your son grow up to be like?

    I know this sounds harsh and terrible, and I am sorry you should even have to go through it at all. Your battle with this problem is going to be hard, the question is when do you really want it to end. Now, or do you want to prolong it by letting him continue to use.

    Where is the Christian community on this one? Why doesn't your pastor come to your husband and confront him? Have you ever thought about having an intervention with other friends and family? You can not handle this on your own. Get the help of other Christians.

    I will be praying for you. Try to remember God's promises for you. he promises that he will never give you more than you can handle, and he tells us that his grace is sufficient. It is all that we need. God will be with you. Lauren

Similar Threads

  1. Alcohol
    By Ani in forum Poll
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: 11-11-2009, 12:16 PM
  2. Prayer Need - Husband Job
    By Monkey Mom in forum Prayer & Praise
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02-24-2007, 12:45 PM
  3. Angry Husband
    By Ana in forum Prayer & Praise
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 07-16-2006, 12:15 AM
  4. Prayer for 19 year old using drugs
    By wezier1 in forum Prayer & Praise
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 07-09-2006, 12:22 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
About us
ChristianMom.com is the leading online location for fellowship of Christian Mom's of all ages. Featuring a growing membership of almost 4,000 Moms, members enjoy discussion forums, links to favorite Christian sites, and many everyday ideas shared within a community of women at ChristianMom.com. Please follow us on Facebook and Twitter and be sure to tell your family, friends and churches about our site.
Join us
ChristianMom.com
Copyright 2000 - 2014
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.2
Copyright © 2014 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.