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Thread: Have others spanked their children's bare bottoms?

  1. #1
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    Question Have other moms spanked their children's bare bottoms?

    Heya
    We all know that spanking is a hotly debated subject and i dont intend to shed another debate on whether it is permissible as a good method of punishment because I firmly believe that IT IS!!!
    Just 2 nights ago at a frinds house, with around 9 others mothers there, spanking came up and when some described taking down their kids pants to spank, 1 mother said that it was sexual abuse!
    I prefer to actually be able to see the child's bottom when you are spanking it ie to be able to see when the butt has gone pink = enough spanking (if I spanked over lothes, sometimes I might go overboard!)
    I dont think the other mommys there agreed with it being abuse, though what they described as spanking was a few swats on the clothes with paddle, spoon, brush or hand.
    When I was little I was spanked with 'implements' on my seat (clothed) and I hated it.
    I didnt want to spank with an implement, but wanted the spankings to be equally firm, so I decided to use my hand on my childrens bare bottom.
    With dd or ds, I warn them and if the warning is not taken on board, then i explain why I am about to spank them, take down their underwear, prop them over my knee and then its 5 spanks to their bums with my 'bare hand.'
    Is spanking on the bare OK if done in private?
    Have others spanked on the bare bottom and how many swats?
    thanks
    please reply
    lizzy
    Last edited by luvvymommy; 02-17-2005 at 02:00 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User denise1105's Avatar
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    Spanking is a very debated subject. We only spank at my house if it is really necessary and then it will be one swat on the bare bottem. I have never spanked my children with anything besides our hand. That is enough. They know if they are going to be spanked they did something pretty bad

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    In my house, spanking is definately used as a punishment for misbehaviour. I feel that too many moms are trying to be more like their kids 'friends' than like their 'parent'!
    And whats this rubbish about spanking being abuse? Abuse is when you horrifically 'beat' a child for no reason (which some poor kids really go through) but spanking is a few swats to a childs bottom to teach them when they keep misbehaving.
    All kids are given to us with a soft, round butt for a reason!
    As for the question asked by this discussion as to the 'bare butt' appraoch I would say I would leave that to perhaps more serious incidents to really get the message through to the child. The parent of a child should decide how the child is to be punished as they know what is best for the child.
    Love

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    I prefer the switch and it is quite effective. A few swats with a switch is easy on the hand and safe for the child. The expert on this is Mike and Debi Pearl they have a site called Nogreaterjoy.com and they have written some great articles on child training. Dottie

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    Lizzy, my son is not yet old enough to behave in a way warranting spankings but I wanted to say that I think you've made a good point in that when you spank on the bare bottom you can see when the skin turns pink. Spanking on the bare bottom is definitely not sexual abuse although I think you'd want to discontinue pulling down the pants once a child gets old enough to feel modest about their nakedness... you certainly don't want to humiliate them in the course of disciplining them.

    Laurie

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    Wink Punish however you deem necessary.

    Liz my child knows that when she misbehaves she will get a spanking if the offence is severe.
    If you tell your kids in advance that if they constantly dont behave they will get a 'bare butt spanking' (as you seem to have done), then if they misbehave they KNOW the punishment they will get. Theyre practically giving themselves the inevitable spanking if they then do misbehave.
    I havent spanked on the bare though, but if you think you should, then discipline the chid lovingly the way you feel is best, whether that be time out, explaining to or spanking.

  7. #7
    Registered User TwinCrier's Avatar
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    I used to spank on the bare bottom when they were in diapers because there was way too much padding. I don't anymore because it takes more time. I do use a spoon sometimes as a hand on o rivot from jeans can hurt me more than them.... literally.

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    love and logic

    I haven't posted here before, so please forgive me if I haven't gotten the feel of the board. I want to share my own experience with spanking.

    My husband and I are foster/adoptive parents so we are not allowed by the state to use any form of corporal punishments (including spanking), yelling, name calling, predicting ("you'll never amount to anything"), or any form of humiliation (including stripping a child). With all the traditional means of discipline forbidden we've had to get creative. I read most of the books on the recommended reading list and found two I felt were essential. The first is "Love and Logic," the second, "How to Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, and Talk So Your Kids Will Listen."

    "Love and Logic" is a style of parenting that teaches your child how to think. It also teaches the parent. What I've learned is that when I'm feeling overwhelmed it means I've taken on too much and need to make some of my problems my child's problems. I've learned how to tell when *I* need to take a time out. I've learned how to make sure my own needs, as a human being, are met. These are things that *I* could never learn through spanking. What this does for our child is teach her that Mommy and Daddy are people, too, who need to be taken care of. And it teaches our child responsibility.

    When people spank they'll often say, "This hurts me, more than it hurts you." Love and Logic doesn't hurt the child or the parent. This is the best thing. I don't feel guilty disciplining and my child doesn't feel resentful. Everything that happens in her world happens as a result of decisions she makes. This is as it is in real life so the discipline she gets today prepares her for life in the world with friends, coworkers, teachers, bosses, and other authority figures.

    The rod spoken of in the Bible was also a unit of measure. I prefer to think of its use as a way of teaching boundaries how far my child can go. One of the first things I want her to know is that no one is to take down her pants, to expose her. I want her to know the boundaries of her own body so that no one can exploit or abuse her. If I, the adult authority in her life, violate those boundaries, I feel that I'm setting her up to be taken advantage of by other adults, now, or later in her life.

    Our first child, Darla, was eight when she moved in with us. She'd lived with a Christian family previously that did spank her, and she was removed from them for that reason. She was classified as a special needs child. Darla has been with us now for six months and everyone who meets her is delighted with her and comments on how well-behaved and polite she is. They tell us we are lucky to have gotten such a well-adjusted child. It's been a lot of work, required a lot of patience, and we've got a long way to go, but Darla is happy now, and secure and our family is happy.

    If you haven't considered other means of discipline, please pick up a book on love and logic. Even if you blend the methods in with spanking I think you'll find you'll need to spank less often.

    Teresa

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    Bare butt here

    My son is 8 and if he needs a spanking, he gets it on his bare butt. We believe that modesty is all well and good at the proper times but that children in their own home with their own immediate family is not a proper time. A bare butt spanking stings more and you know whether you're spanking too hard. As for the embarrassment, that just makes it a better deterrent.

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    Spanking your childrens bottoms.....

    Hi there,everyone,I am new here,so please forgive any mistakes etc!!! I have one little girl,aged 6,and as regards spanking,I always felt so very giulty about spanking her bare bottom! Now,lets get this straight( and I speak from,sadly personal experience here)spanking IS NOT sexual abuse,never has been nor will it be. I prefer NOT to do it,as it hurts me soooooo badly. The old saying "this will hurt me more than it'll hurt you" is so very true,folks. But.if she needs a spank,she'll jolly well get one!! I spank about 4/5 times,bare behind,and that's it done. then I usually go have a wee cry somewhere,and ask The Lord to forgive me for doing it!!! I think you are perfectly reasonable,so don't feel bad,ok? Thanks for reading my post everyone,W0ozymummy,xXx

  11. #11
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    I rarely spank. I find that he just doesn't need it. I have swatted his bottom on occasion when he just wasn't listening. I would if I "had" to but, I try to find alternitives to spanking.

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    Feeling bad

    I do feel sad when I spank my son, knowing that I have to make his butt hurt to fulfill my job as a parent. But while I may feel sad, I can't say I've ever felt the slightest bit guilty about it. I know it's the right thing to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by W0ozymummy
    Hi there,everyone,I am new here,so please forgive any mistakes etc!!! I have one little girl,aged 6,and as regards spanking,I always felt so very giulty about spanking her bare bottom! Now,lets get this straight( and I speak from,sadly personal experience here)spanking IS NOT sexual abuse,never has been nor will it be. I prefer NOT to do it,as it hurts me soooooo badly. The old saying "this will hurt me more than it'll hurt you" is so very true,folks. But.if she needs a spank,she'll jolly well get one!! I spank about 4/5 times,bare behind,and that's it done. then I usually go have a wee cry somewhere,and ask The Lord to forgive me for doing it!!! I think you are perfectly reasonable,so don't feel bad,ok? Thanks for reading my post everyone,W0ozymummy,xXx

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    Arrow Used in our home

    Hey liz, I thank that bare butt is fine as long as it is done in a loving home. Both my husband Bruce and I spank our boys ages 4 and 7 bare hinny. After all a spanking should hurt, and like another mom said, humiliation is an effective deterrent. We practice modesty at all times and expect our boys to as well, but spanking is not a time to be modest ! Wendy

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    Mel

    In my house ive always tried to use spanking as a last resort for extreme disobediance and for me , I personally see results.
    My children are not terrified of me, but they know they will have a warm bottom if they constantly dont go to bed, dont clean up toys, be rude etc...
    I try to reserve the bare bottom spanking as something for really bad or repeated bad behaviour. Usually in my house with my 3, spanking consists of going over my knee and getting an equal number of pops as your years on your seat. Nothing more or nothing less. Bare bottom spanking is good unless you are obviousely spanking to hard or too long.

  15. #15
    Registered User Kimblee's Avatar
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    We have 3 kids who are now 23, 16 and 7, and have spanked them all-when they needed it. My grown son told me a few weeks ago "thank you Mom, if you and Dad hadn't disciplined me the way that you did-I shudder to think where I would be today". You see, he has his own son now and recognizes that we spanked him because we loved him-not because we wanted to hurt him. It was to correct his bad behaviors-and it seems to have worked with our kids. I see my SIL with her 3 small children-who aren't spanked, and their house is totally chaotic, there is no spanking and the "time out" method is in all honesty-accomplishing nothing. I have never seen a house so out of control and run by the kids. I do pray for her and the kids and her hubby.

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