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broken beloved

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  1. Kelly, Take a deep breath. I have to confess that all the things you struggle with and the weights you carry all reflect mine. I cant seem to keep the house clean, my kids happy, my weight in order, the dishes done, laundry done, etc. I have two little girls one is 2 and the other is 3 mths. I know exactly how you feel. You dont want to even bother some days and yet it eats at you every minute. The first thing I want to tell you is that God has given you all that you need to be the wife, mother, and woman you desire to be. The second thing I want to tell you is to take one thing at a time. There will always be hard days, days where you dont want to do anything. There will always be times when you feel like you're not doing enough. The hard part is learning to decipher what is true and what is not. There are days when I feel like I'm not doing enough, and sometimes it's true. Sometimes I choose to sit in front of the compture knowing full well I could do a load if not a few dishes and there is the part of me that says ' no I dont want to' or 'that would'nt do any good'. The enemy loves to keep us down, he loves to keep us thinking we are failures and that we some how lack the ability to productive. But the Bibles tells us that we are more than conquerors through Christ Jesus. This week has been a hard week for me, and what I've done this week was to simply pray in the morning 'Jesus I surrender to you, I need you, you are my strenght' and I have been given the strenght to get things done. It's also about changing the way you think about these things. If we look at them simply as tasks to get done, chores that are a burden then we will never do them. But if we begin to look at these responsibilities are opportunities to honor God, show love to our family, show love to our husbands, etc. then we are more likely to do them with a cheerful heart or at least a willing heart. It's not about doing these things all the time perfectly but working toward them and slowly reaching our goals. You are a good mother, although you may not feel like it you are. Your children know you love them, even when situations are tough and things might get out of hand, they know you love them, that you are there for them, that you are a safe place. You husband knows you love him and that you are a good mother and a wonderful wife. Give yourself grace to be human and to miss it sometimes. Give yourself grace to work toward a goal. Take the tasks of the day one step at a time. Know that laundry will always be there. Dishes will always be there. Those are things that will keep building up, do a little at a time. Do two loads of laundry a day. Do a load of dishes in a the morning or half a load. Dont try to take everything on at once. You will be overwhelmed. Dont worry about the little things in the kids room. If you want them to keep there room clean, perhaps you could make up a rewards system. Something like, if they keep there rooms cleaned all week they can have ice cream sundaes on Friday or they can watch a special movie or something like that. Maybe that would help to motivate them. I know I've said a lot and honestly there is so much more I want to say but I'll cut this short Lean on Jesus for what you need to motivate you and get you through the stressfull times. He will give you everything you need, I can testify to that. Even if it's getting your husband home a little early cause your going crazy! God can and will do it for you because He loves you. Dont worry about your test, God's plan is perfect and is for your good and the good of your family. Use this time to prepare for the next time you can take the test and ask God to open your mind so that you can remember all that you need to and give you favor on your test. He will work it out. Hold on to Jesus, He's got you and your family. You can message me if you want to chat more.....I'll be praying for you Grace & Peace Jen
  2. Has anyone dealt with postpartum depression?
  3. Father I lift up abc's mom to you. Lord I pray that you would surround her with your presence. Father I ask that you would fill that ER with you manifest Spirit. That abc's mom would know you are with her. Lord I pray that you give the doctors wisdom in how to treat her and what to do for her. Father I pray that you would give abc and her family wisdom in what to do. Lord I pray that you would comfort both mom and family in this moment. Jesus I pray healing power to reach this woman right where she is. Touch her Lord with your might right hand and bring healing, peace, strenght, and comfort. Jesus I pray your grace and peace over this situation and this family. In Jesus name, Amen
  4. Hi Tonelsmom, I'm doing good. Learning to patiently wait for God's timing for the delivery of this new little one. It's been hard. My faith has been tested and that has been hard but God has been faithful to draw near to me when I cry out (litterally cry) to Him for help and strenght. I did find a website a while back that helped me to formulate a birth plan. It was really easy cause it had all these options within a whole bunch of different categories. I will check out this link too though, I like know what my options are. Thanks for checking on me. I know things have been rough for you, but know that I am praying for you and I'm trusting that God will work everything out for you. And I am praying that God would surround you with his peace and strength. I pray that as you cry out to Him, you would know His immediate pressence, as I have experienced. He loves you sooo much. He really does and He knows things are hard, but He is working all things out. He is moving even now even though you may not see it clearly. He loves you and He's there. You are so precious to Him and I believe that He delights in your childlike faith and willingness to trust and learn to trust. I believe that He delights in you, because you are His child. He loves you soo much, I just feel like I want to keep telling you that...That you are loved by Jesus!!! You are His beautiful, prescious daughter.... The Father delights in you..... in all of who you are...... Blessings beautiful beloved love Jen
  5. secondchance, you sound like me. as i was reading, you mentioned that you know God is not ignoring you and that all your dealing with is probably to shape you, mold you and all that good stuff. I know for me that when i'm sitting in the midst of all the chaos thinking about how the chaos is for the good, that brings me little comfort because there is still a part in my heart that screams out "God, could you just please, ease up a bit" and i think the Father understands. He mades us and He remembers that we are but dust....I really just wanted you to know that I hear your heart and the cry of your heart for rest, for refreshing, and for some space to breath deep. I want to encourage you to hang on. Tell the Father what you feel at the deepest level, and let Him meet you how He would. We know that all things work together for the good...yes but your heart is in anguish and your heart is not comforted by that, and thats ok because Jesus draws near to the broken hearted and crushed in spirit. I dont know if any of this is making sense, I just wanted to encourage you...that it's ok to be where you are cause Jesus will show up and He will bring you to a place and give you what you need. I'm praying for you.... Jen
  6. I am sooo hapy for you!!!!!!!!! I pray the Lord give you the words and wisdom in sharing with family. May the Lord guard your heart and mind as you tell the fam. He'll work all things out. Praise Jesus!!!
  7. Lord I pray that you would touch my sister. Father you know the battle that rages within her and I pray that you would draw near to her and fight her battle for her because you are our Mighty Warrior who fights for us. Jesus I pray that you would surround my sister with your presence. I pray your protection against the attacks of the enemy to be round about her and that you would preserve her in all she does. Jesus keep her in your peace. Lord may your blood cover her and hide her in the shadow of your wings. Father I pray that you would silence every lie and voice of the enemy in the Name of Jesus and that your voice would speak strong and clear to my sister. Father I pray that you would speak to the storm and command it to be at peace and that you would bring her out of this valley of the shadow of death and set her high upon the rock of Jesus Christ to give her life abudnantly in every area. Lord give her your joy and your peace in the name of Jesus. Touch her today God. In Jesus Name, Amen
  8. I come into aggreement with Laurie and ask God that you would provide all they need in this situation Father according to your good and perfect will. I'm praying for you Danielle. Grace & Peace Jen
  9. naejeirual, My family and I started to actually observe the Sabbath according to Jewish tradition, and for a season it was a great blessing. Taking time in the evening to speak blessings over one another, to wash one anothers hands, to break bread and take communion once a week. Knowing that I have recieved the promised gift of salvation made celebrating the Sabbath all the more rich and sweet. The Lord called me away from the traditional Sabbath because I had begun to make it just another thing to do that needed to get done and I was missing the point. Just this week the Lord's been moving on my heart in the area of motherhood, and that my house should and needs to be a house of peace where the presence of the Lord is evident in our lifestyle. That people can come and sit and see that our lives, that our hearts are in a state of rest before the Father. So last night my husband and I spent time de-cluttering the large things in our house and I have spent time praying in my heart that the presence of the Lord would filld this place. For me, I think I'm on the road to understanding what it means to honor God, not just in one way but in all that I do. The Lords been laying it heavy on my heart the need to de-clutter not just my house but my heart, and I believe that taking time to honor God, setting aside a day that is His, where we offer ourselves as a sacrifice and shut out the demands of the world-is when the Holy Spirit comes and begins to de-clutter our hearts so that we are more fixed and steadfast on Him. The Sabbath is done as a rememberance of the promises of God, the provision of God, and who God is. I believe God delights when we honor Him this way... Just some of my thoughts and stuff... Blessings Jen
  10. Hi Ladies I am doing better. The pain is gone, praise the Lord! I dont know what it was but its gone. My husband arrived safely yesterday and is very very tired but it's good to have him home. The family is well and I thank you for your support and prayers. Just wanted to update folks. Blessings Jen
  11. Thank you all for the prayer and support. My husband is due home tonight so please be praying for safe travels as he comes home and stuff. Also, I've been having some slight pain, kinda like lite cramping. It's on the left side and it comes and goes. I cant tell if it's the baby's position, gas, or something else. So if you all could keep my and the baby in your prayers I would greatly appreciate it. I'm working on putting together a hospital bag to keep in the car, just to be prepared. Blessings Jen
  12. This morning was little rough for me. I woke up cranky and it took me a while to shake it, but as the day went on I got better. We had a busy day today running around. It was nice to get out of the house. Hopefully this evening wont be so bad, a friend and I are going out to dinner and then we'll probably hang out. She's such a sweet girl. I'm looking foward to it. My husband is doing well and he thanks you all for the prayers, it's been a long two days for him and he is looking foward to coming home. Thanks for the support ladies. Jesus is faithful. Blessings Jen
  13. I will be praying for you and your family Grace & Peace Jen
  14. Hi ladies Today has been a good day, praise the Lord! Me and my little one had a good time together hanging out. After nap time was hard because my husband usually comes home an hour or so after she and I get up. So the evening has been hard. She ws calling "da da" tonight and really wouldnt eat her dinner. And i'm feeling lonely. It's hard eat dinner without him and now having someone to talk to but I know that God is keeping him and me. My heart was at such peace today and was content with Jesus. I just wanted to let everyone know how my little one and I were doing. My husband arrived in ATL safely and is very tired but doing well. Thank you for your prayers, I felt supported today by them and encouraged. I'm planning on spending some time reading and being before bed and stuff. Thank you sister for the prayer support and love. Blessings Jen
  15. Hi ladies, I'm asking for prayer for me and my family. My husband is taking a three day business trip to Atlant for his job. I hate when he takes business trips, I hate when he leaves simple because there is no guarantee that I will see him again. To be honest, fear easily latches on to me and I have a hard time shaking it. I know that God has not given me a spirit of fear and I also know that I'm not strong enough to shake it on my own. I've been praying and reminding myself of God's word, if you all wouldnt mind praying for me, that God would strengthen me to stand in faith believing and trusting and hoping in Him to keep my husband safe and bring him home safely I would grealy appreciate it. Him being gone also means that it's just me and my daughter, which I love but sometimes it's too much. Sometimes I get tired and easily frustrated with her and being pregnant doesnt really make things easier. I know it's only three days but it seems so much longer to me and it doesnt help that for three and half years of our dating/engagement we were 18 hours away....that's also why I hate being apart. We did it for so long that I dont like doing it again. If you all could just pray for strenght, peace, and that Jesus would comfort me and whatever else the Lord lays on your heart I would greatly appreciate it. Any prayer support would be great You all are the only support I have, thanks for being there. Blessings Jen
  16. Laurie, I'm doing well and so is the baby. My husband and I have been praying about what to do. We have gotten to a place where we just want what God desires. So we're not making a decision till we have a peace about what God would have us do. I talked to my mom and she said that she would be praying for us as well. She was frustrated that my medical records where wrong. Truthfully, if God would lead me to have a c-section I believe that my heart is ready. And if God would lead me to try a VBAC then I would need an extra messure of faith to believe Him for the impossible, I now He can do that in me. So I guess I'm just waiting. I try to remember to let myself cry and grief when I have the need, thats still hard but getting better. Thanks for your support. Thanks for checkin on me. I appreciate it. In all honest I've been getting nervous about possibly delivering early since that seems like the trend. I've been praying and trying to take everythought captive. I know that anxiety and fear are not of God and so when those thoughts come and thats how I feel I've been trying to declare His word in spite of the emotions. It's a battle for sure. Jen
  17. Here is an update: Fallon and the baby are doing well. The baby is actually 3pounds 3 ounces, praise the Lord! The c-section was done because Fallon started to have contractions that were at first 15 min apart and by the time they reached the hopsital they were 1 min apart. The baby came out crying on his own. He is in the NICU till he gains more weight. Please keep praying for this family. Nigel, Fallon's husband has just recently rejoined the family. He was training in the Armed Forces and graduated in Jan. They have an 8 month old daughter who is adjusting to Nigel being home, they just moved to Texas at the end of January and they have no family around them. Thy are in a state of transition and change and need all the prayers that they can get. Thanks for much for praying for my friends. The prayers of the righteous avails much! Blessings Jen
  18. Hello ladies I just recieved word that a dear friend of ours just had to have an emergency c-section for her second child. We dont know the reasons why yet but the baby is only 2 pounds. If you would all pray, her name is Fallon and her husband's name is Nigel. Blessings Jen
  19. I also wanted to add that I dont believe God will contiue to bless a nation that overlooks it widows, orphans, and the needy. That is just as important to God taking care of those in other countries.
  20. I think everyone has a vaild point. I do think that America needs to get back to it's biblical foundation. I do not believe God will keep blessing a nation that denies, rejects, and profanes His name. The nation as a whole needs to get right with God. I also agree that there are many in this nation who are without food, water, and medical care. There are places in IL that don't have running water, or a zip code. There are places all over the world where people are without food and the basics to survive. I do not believe that America is here to save everyone else or be the provider for everyone else. Christians are called to led to the poor and needy on a personal, individual level. Each of us should be doing our part to help those we can whether that be individuals in our nation or overseas. I think it will take prayer and leadership who fear God to bring jobs back to our nation. God's work on earth is done through the men and women who are His servants. When the righteous are in authority the city rejoices. I think we're always going to have people in need because we (using it in a general reference for all human beings) are corrupt individuals and we want to gain for ourselves. It is the work of the Spirit of God in us that causes us to fight against in justice. I know that I'm just going on and on. I dont mean to offend anyone or anything. I read through this entire thread and I just wanted to share. I dont think we can lump all immigrants together. There are some who have come over and have taken from the system simply to take and have ill in their hears. There are other who have lost everything and have come hoping to find something. The process for a visa is long and costly. For some it means they must return home to the place they came from and wait who knows how long before they even get an interview. For those immigrants who have losted their families to famine and war, home is the last place they want to be. I agree that something should be done and there needs to be a way to regulate the influx of immigrants. Not all of them are the same and not all are here simply to take. Some have stories that would make us wail in grief. Just some of my thoughts...
  21. Laurie, I've thought about talking to my old Dr. the problem is, is that she is no longer practicing. After she delivered my daughter and I had my follow up appointments she left the practice. So I have little clue how to contact her or where to start. I am praying about it. I have considered that it was human error. I told my husband that it would be they thought one things was happening and then discovered something else taking place, which is not an issue other than no one informing us. Ya know what I mean? The hospital I delivered at is one of the worst hospitals I've been in and have a record of poor care and service. Unless people have no other option, most avoid the local hospital at all costs. You didnt sound vindictive, not to me. You're right, in that I need to see if I can get to the bottom of took place from a medical standpoint because it affects my future in ways I have yet to know. And in IL, because lawsuits fly off the shelves I'm sure she may not want to talk with out a lawyer present, more as a safe guard then anything. That way I cant come back later and try to take her to court or something. It's interesting but I know that things like that have happened. Right now, I'm just praying and trying to wait on Jesus. Thanks for your words of comfort, support, advice, and straight up wisdom. I appreciate it Blessings Jen
  22. hello lovely ladies I wanted to give you all an update on life right now. Things are hard but getting better. Today I had an OB appointment and my new Dr. read me my medical records from my first delivery. I was very hurt when she read them because everything that was in there was nothing I had been told. I was told the reason for my c-section was because I had not dilated, my daughter was so well engaged that her head we swelling from pushing against my pelvis, and that she was indistress. The report says that my daughter didnt even drop and that she wasnt engaged, that she was facing up and not toward my spine, and that she didnt fit. I have to say, I wanted to cry my eyes out in my Dr. office. I felt so decieved and lied to. Honestly I dont know if what the report says is true or if what I was told was true or what. As I spoke with my husband on the way home about it, he expressed his desire to take my old Dr. to court because he was so angry, and I for the first time was not angry with her, just hurt that I had not be told the truth or that all the information available had not been given to me. If they would have told me that what they thought was happening really didnt I dont think I would've been so hurt today. I guess I'm hurt and frustrated because no one has been up front and honest with me about what happened that day and that is what I long to know the most. I have come to a place where I realize that my daughter being born via c-section was God divine plan and I'm soooo gratefull for her, she is my joy. There is a part of me that desires to know what happen from the medical stand point. What did or didnt my body do? I just want someone who will be honest with me. I want to know so that I know how to pray about my next one. I know that I can still pray without knowing but there is that part of me that would just like to know the truth. That is what I desire to understand what happened that day, and I know that only Jesus can tell me because there is no one else who knows. My Dr. talked with me today about the risks that I would face if I still wanted to go ahead with the VBAC and ladies, I honestly dont know now. I believe that if it is God's will then it will happen. I dont want to try for a VBAC out of selfish motives and put my baby at risk. Do you know what I mean? If I make the VBAC all about regaining what I lost the way I think I can and it's all about Jen getting what she wants, then my motives are off. I dont want to put my baby through risks simply to prove something or to gain something in my own strength. I dont know. I want to try and yet at the same time I am ok with having another one if that is what God would have me do and whats best for my baby. I thank you all for your prayers and support. This has been quite a journey thus far. I have been crying since I left the Dr. office and I think it's slowing down. Something was struck in my heart and I'm not sure what. I've just been crying out to Jesus to be my comfort. Please be praying that my husband and I would hear the voice of the Lord on what decision to make and that the peace of Jesus would guard our hearts. That we would have a peace and joy and faith for whatever God calls us to do. Blessings to you beautiful sister! Grace & Peace Broken Beloved (Jen)
  23. Hallelujah!!! Glory To Our Risen Lord! My heart rejoices with your family, we serve a MIGHTY GOD!

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