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onehotmama

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About onehotmama

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  1. Yes, it's from God. This is the scripture He gave me almost immediately after the vision: "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." Ephesians 6: 12 It all makes sense. I am being oppressed by the enemy.
  2. Vision This morning I had a vision in which I was shown the image of a denom who has been attacking me in a certain area, leading me to sin. Yes, it was before I got out of bed this morning but I was not sleeping and I was not dreaming. I am confused. Why was I shown this image and how can I be sure that it was God showing me?
  3. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I pray you are able to rest to heal physically and emotionally.
  4. Thank you all for the encouraging pm's you've sent to me. I am still hanging in there. I often have a couple of days reprieve from the depression before it sets in again. Hubby took me to the beach for a couple days and the change of scenery/routine was nice. Easter Sunday was very hard b/c I was back in the severely depressed mode. I couldn't even celebrate what Jesus did for me on the Cross b/c I feel I don't deserve it. I feel I am so bad. My friend asked me the question, "If Hitler had asked for forgiveness, would God have forgiven him? What about Osama bin Laden?" My answer was "Of course!" So, for head knowledge, I KNOW I am forgiven but I still feel like I need to be punished so I invent ways to punish myself. Yesterday hubby took me up to the altar at church and knelt with me and prayed. I am definitely feeling all the prayers of everyone. Thank you. Please continue to pray. Love you in Christ.
  5. Friends, please pray for me. I just need to be honest and come out from behind the mask of one "happy, peppy, hot" mama. As many of you know, I have chronic depression for which I take meds and see a Christian counselor. I was feeling so much better in the fall, especially after I gave my testimony at church. But now, since Christmas, I've been trying to shrug off a low-grade depression that I've just called the winter BLAHs. It's more than that. It's morphed into something huge and I need help. I have so much anger and hatred towards myself. I just beat myself up mentally and I treat myself badly physically. I don't eat right, I resist bathing, I tear my skin. I feel like I am so bad and so wrong and in trouble all the time. I am married to a wonderful man who constantly affirms my value and worth, but I feel worthless and useless. I can't keep my house clean. I feel like such a failure. I feel like I fail at everything I do and I resist doing other things because of fear of failure! The only thing that I am confident in is that I am a good mother and my happy, well-adjusted, godly child is testament to that. In my head, I know that Jesus paid the penalty for all my sins. But I can't stop feeling that I am so filled with bad stuff and sin and JUNK. I have thought a lot about killing myself because I can't take this misery anymore. BUT, I would never actually do it because I love my family too much and I know God has a plan (somehow) in all this. I fantasize about killing myself the same way I fantasize about other means of escape, like having an affair or living alone on an exotic tropical island. I am at a really, really low point right now. I am so vulnerable to attack from Satan. I need all of you to be prayer warriors for me. Please be strong for me because I am so weak and weary.
  6. I've been having these dreams for quite some time, at least a year, and it's taken me awhile to realize that they are recurring. They are always different but contain the same elements: a new or different house and water. For example, in my dream we will buy a fabulous new house but when I look outside water has rushed up to it. Or it may be a cruddy, run-down house but there is always the danger of too much water. Of course, what comes to mind for me is the parable of the wise and foolish builders in Matthew 8: 24-27. Can anyone help me with some interpretation and how I can recognize what God is telling me through these dreams? My husband and I feel we have built our house upon the rock and are ready when (not if) the storms come. So why do I keep dreaming this?
  7. Thanks, Momofateen. I really needed to hear that! Also, Lisa, I apologize--I didn't notice until later that you were asking this question as a mom who works outside the home and needed something "quick" to cook. This recipe is not quick, especially if you include brown rice like I do. However, if you make a lot at one time, it will be enough for one or two leftover meals! It is sooo delicious. Cook it for supper on Saturday and you'll have a nice Sunday dinner, too!
  8. Hey, Lisa! I'm from the South, too, and our eating styles are similar. My best friend came up with this recipe a couple a weeks ago and it is delicious! All our friends are cooking it now. We call it Smothered Chicken. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts or tenderloins (as many as you want!) 1 pkg. bacon sliced swiss cheese vegetable oil, about 2-3 tbs. 1 large onion, chopped 2 large green bell peppers, chopped Salt and pepper chicken. Wrap as many pieces as you can with bacon. Place in a large baking pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 1 hour. While baking sautee onions and bell peppers in veg. oil. Remove chicken from oven; cover with slices of swiss cheese. Return to oven for 5 minutes for cheese to melt. Remove chicken; place in large casserole dish. "Smother" with onions and peppers and cover with lid until ready to serve. Serve with brown rice and crescent rolls. Delicious!!
  9. Thank you all for your hugs and words of encouragement.
  10. My favorite topic! I'm a huge book fan. Right now, my non-fiction is just the Bible, Sunday School material, and the "Thru the Bible" commentary by J. Vernon McGee. Fiction: Francine Rivers is the best! I've never read anything so breathtaking as her "Mark of the Lion" series. I am waiting for something new by her. I also read and love: Cathy Marie Hake, Deanne Gist, Tracey Bateman, Lauraine Snelling, Beverly Lewis, Penelope Stokes, Tracie Peterson, Judith Miller. I'm glad someone mentioned Laura Ingalls Wilder. There is something so comforting about going back and re-reading all those childhood favorites of mine.
  11. I just want to say it is a comfort to come here where, as far as I can tell, no one is pretending. We can come here for encouragement, edification, exhortation, fellowship, whatever. I've gotten in a bad habit of searching out blogs of Christian women who I feel like share some of my same values and interests. So I've found some good ones and I'm really interested in knowing how Jennifer at "Getting Ahead" spent $25/week for several weeks on groceries for her family of six so she could pay a huge dental bill. I'm really into frugal living and I love that kind of thing. But if you've gone blog-hopping you know that finding one blog leads you on a maze of sorts where you find yourself visiting other blogs...and, well, it just makes me feel bad about myself. No, I'm not super-organized or efficient, my house isn't super-clean,.....OK, OK, I'm messy and disorganized! I have trouble with arts and crafts and hospitality and cooking fabulous meals from scratch and getting my laundry done! I have very little self-discipline and have trouble sticking to a schedule! I find myself focused so much on what I can't do and what I haven't accomplished that I get depressed and discouraged. I compare myself to these "super women" and fall short every time. So today I think I'm going to start deleting some of these blogs from my favorites list. I'm going to try to stay focused on who God created me to be and quit the comparison game.
  12. Definitely praying for you. I don't know what bad signs you are having but it is normal to have some cramping and discomfort around 6-12 weeks (speaking from my own experience). Keep us posted.
  13. Laurie, thank you for sharing! I really needed to read this right now. I am printing it out and posting it on the bulletin board right in front of me.
  14. Welcome and congratulations on your little blessing! You will find this a wonderful place to spend some time each day.

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