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mamapyratekk

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About mamapyratekk

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    Registered User
  • Birthday 01/29/1986

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  • Biography
    Wife to Alex, Mom to jacob, Baby 2 on the way!

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  • Location
    Candler, NC

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  • Interests
    reading, painting, cooking :)

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  • Occupation
    SAHM
  1. The things in the post are just some of the reasons that I just prefer to make my own household cleaners and use more natural options for the things I can't make.
  2. GIRL!!! I finally had my ultrasound today, and my mommy's intuition was right for the second time. I can't wait to meet her, now Jacob will have a little sister...I'm ecstatic! Just wanted to share it with the world .
  3. Welcome to the site Jillian! Where in NC might you be moving? I ask because I've lived all over, currently living close to Asheville (really close, 3ish minute drive). And good job on homeschooling, I'm hoping to be able to do that in the future with my little ones . God bless!
  4. Thanks for all the advice everyone. I still haven't talked to her, I am TERRIFIED! I know I absolutely have to do it soon though, because I'm to the point of not believing a word she says. Every time she calls and says rude things about her husband or tells me a story I think sounds a little 'off', I have to write down what she says so that I can call my step-father (who I absolutely adore BTW!) and verify the information with him. He knows she lies, but just like me he's scared to call her out on it. Thankfully I know I can always count on him for accurate information, he's never lied to me before. Anyways, that turned into a little bit of a vent...sorry about that. I have one question: Do you all think this is something I need to do face-to-face, or could I get by doing it on the phone or even writing her a letter about it first? I ask because I'm horrible at face-to-face things, but I'm really good at saying things in letter form. But I wonder if that might be too informal for what I need to bring up...
  5. I was just wondering if anyone else's church is participating in One Prayer? Today during service our pastor showed a video that listed the names of every single church around the world that is involved in this, and after my first thought of, "This is amazing!" My second thought was, "Out of all those, there has to be at least one person on ChristianMom in a participating church." And maybe there isn't, but I thought maybe just maybe! Anyhow, just so I don't talk about it without saying what it is: http://www.oneprayer.com
  6. Hey ladies, I'm in need of a little advice again. You are always so honest and caring so I decided to ask about this here. In the first post I ever made on this site I mentioned my problem with lying. I did it without even thinking about it! Let me say that I'm very happy to say that I have done much better with this and I'm so proud of myself for that. I also have gotten to that point where I really dislike feeling as if I'm being lied to...I mean, it really hurts my soul (if that makes any sense...). Anyways, so here is what happened today... My mom called me. She said that she needed me to do her a favor. I told her that as long as it was something I could do, I would. In the past she's done everything from ask me for money in sums of up to $350 (which I only saw $25 of) to asking me to call to get her out of work for the day. Up until now I've done it without really batting an eyelash, but she also hasn't asked for much since I've become more religious and have had moral objections to some of the things she asked me to do. Anyways, so she tells me how last week she lied to her boss (saying my uncle was in the hospital) to get out of work. Then said that she needed today off from her job so that she could go to a therapy appointment. That's when she asked me for the favor. She asked me to call her work and tell her boss that it was her daughter and that she needed to call me ASAP that it was about her brother. She also told me to just mention that I couldn't seem to get her on her house phone. I felt my heart just aching and I knew that I shouldn't do it. But I have this horrible time saying no, especially to her. So I called, the whole time my stomach was churning and I absolutely felt like throwing up. Worst part? Her boss that answered wasn't the everyday boss, but the person who just supervises here and there... ...a preacher's wife. After that she called me around 11, trying to 'keep up the appearance'. Her behavior absolutely shocked, scared, and worried me. She was able to make herself cry and say things like, "Is he going to be okay?" without any remorse whatsoever. I didn't even respond to her, I just said "I'm eating a muffin and drinking hot chocolate, and I need to go." It just...freaked me out...that she was able to not only lie to her boss, but even fake cry to do it. After that I just had to ask for forgiveness. I put my son in the pack-and-play for a minute and went up to my room with my bible. I read some, and asked to be forgiven for the thing I had just done. I sat there just bawling my eyes out, and just feeling so...well, just bad. Thank the Lord that He is so great and forgave me for what I did today, without knowing I had His forgiveness I'm sure I would have been a wreck all day long. After praying, I felt God calling me into action. I just know that He wants me to help with helping my mother. To help her stop lying, and hopefully bring her closer to Him. I spoke to my husband about this when he got home today, and he said that next time she asks (which is inevitable) that I should just say no. I explained to him that for me, it's just so hard to say no to her or ANYONE for that matter. He said that I just have to put my foot down about it. And I know that I do, but it's just not that easy for me... I've been in her shoes. I know that once you've lied for so long about so many things that you just do it without thinking about it. I KNOW how hard it is to stop, even with the right motivation. I think that being able to empathize with her is ultimately what will help ME help HER. But here it is...how on Earth do I bring this up to her without making her angry at me (or rather, making her hate me)? She doesn't take criticism easily at all, and I know that even with the most well intentioned conversation...I will make her very VERY angry. I've already asked God for the strength to talk to her and for His blessing on the situation so that it will go smoothly. But I just know my mother well... ...how can I even BEGIN to go about this? Thanks so much ladies, any advice or prayers will be warmly accepted
  7. Lord, we lift Sheryl up and pray for her release from the hospital and from this disease. Lord, please be close with her as she battles through another bout of her Hidradenitis Supprativa. We pray for you to give her strength right now when she needs you most if it's your will. Lord, this we pray in Jesus' name, Amen!
  8. Thanks for the advice Laurie. Since we've been eating in the living room far too often recently I decided to make a really nice dinner the other night. Turkey burgers, fries, salad, fruit salad... And though I didn't mention it during dinner, later on when Alex mentioned how it was a nice dinner I said, "You know, I think we should sit down to dinner together at the table more often." Then I snuck in, "And you know, there's something that some people do before they eat..." then it went like this... him: "Yea" me: "You know what I mean?" him: "Pray?" me: "Yea, we should do that..." him: "Okay" Pretty simple, and not the most in depth conversation but at least I brought it up
  9. I'm considering it for when my children get older, but I guess it all depends on the circumstances at the time. Part of me is looking forward to knowing that eventually I will have "me time" again, but another part of me worries about the way children can be influenced in schools (in negative ways). Thanks fullhandswith3 for posting that link, my son will be preschool age soon, so I'm going to go check that out
  10. Hey everyone! I haven't been on here since my husband and I reunited, and I figured it was about time for an update. Things for us have been absolutely amazing. If anyone remembers my last post you'll know that I mentioned my past lying. I can admit it, sometimes being honest is still hard for me...but I do it anyways. Do I slip up now and again? Yes, but I'm nowhere near where I was before I separated from him. My slip ups are also much more 'slight' (if you can call any dishonesty 'slight') than my blatant lies of the past. I honestly am not even sure I can give an example of any recent slip ups. Oh yea, here's one...I put a box in a drawer it didn't go in and instead of saying, "I put it there and forgot it" I said that I had put it there and remembered it was there and was going to put it away later. That's about the extent of any dishonesty I've had with my husband, and we worked through it . Anyhow, so other than that...he and I have found the most amazing church. I'm actually to the point where I absolutely look forward to Sundays so that we can go to church together. Not only together as a family (though Jacob goes to the childcare obviously), but together with God. I love love LOVE this church, I've never felt like this about going to church before!!! I know that none of you live near me, but I still like telling people about it anyways...their website is http://www.rockofasheville.com Love them (see, I can't say it enough!). Now for my questions . First, I know that the answer to this is probably going to be "just talk to him!" but...I don't know, I guess I'm over complicating things. I want to discuss with Alex some changes I'd really like to see happen in our family, but I'm just absolutely terrified to talk to him. No idea why, I guess I just tend (in general, not because of him!) to worry that my ideas won't be welcomed or taken seriously. For instance, I really want to begin eating dinner as a family at the kitchen table. Right now Jacob eats a few hours before we do and then we sit in the living room eating and watching television. I just feel like I'd rather sit down at the table together, it's just such a great habit. Plus that will give us the ability to actually hold hands and pray together before we eat...another thing I really want to start doing. I'm also wanting to maybe get together at night when we have some free time (he works all day) and maybe just read the Bible or one of our books together. Just something to do one-on-one that focus more on our faith and less on the television. Any ideas how to bring this up? Again, I'm sure I'll mostly get responses of "just talk to him!" but I just feel better asking for some advice lol. Now, next and last thing. What are some good Christian-themed books I could get for my 19 month old? I'm really wanting to find some because he loves for me to read to him, and I love doing it too! Also, it doesn't have to be religious, but any recommendations for books to explain that a new baby is coming to the family? Maybe something about being a big brother? Thanks so much ladies!!! Hope you're all doing wonderfully, have a blessed night!!
  11. Welcome to the site Michelle!
  12. First: I apologize in advance for this being a little all over the place and rambling. I'm just getting over a crying spell (I'll talk about it below) so I have a lot on my mind. Laurie, Thank you so much for this. If it's alright, I would like to be able to e-mail this to him but I want to make sure it's ok with you first since you are the one who wrote it . You're absolutely right, we are young and this IS drama. I think that I mostly felt betrayed after seeing this girl, which is hard for me because since I separated from him in February I've been very laid back. I'm finally learning to be myself and be a strong woman, and also to live my life for God. It's been a real eye opener for me, I just wish that I wouldn't have felt the need to separate from him to be able to realize all of this. I guess that the situation was just too hard on me at the time because of my depression for me to be able to accomplish all of this while we were still living together. But thankfully it is accomplished now and now I feel I can truly commit to a relationship whole heartedly. And why is that? Because I'm committed in my relationship with the lord, and to me that is one of the biggest commitments of all. After doing that I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I could work to salvage things with my husband...it is just, sadly, going to take some time. I think the thing that has me most emotionally drained right now is that for him to keep Jacob now (as he starts a new job in a new town) he is going to have to have a live-in nanny. Our son will hardly see his father, and will see me even less. I worry he'll forget me or call this woman "mommy." I've been sobbing over it since Alex and I got off the phone, actually...since well before we got off the phone. All I wanted to do was say, "I could live there and take care of him, and we could still work on things then." But he has made it clear that it may be months before he's comfortable enough with me to trust me after what I did to him. I understand that completely, I just wish it didn't have to be that way. I wish there was a way for me to be in his life and living there while he's working through all of the emotions. I don't want a stranger raising our son. Back to the point lol. Thank you so much also giving me a place to look in reference to the Bible and also those websites. I think we'll have to wait on the married couple mentoring (though I am absolutely delighted to hear that exists!!!) because he's moving to a new city and will start a new church...and my church is very small and I know that they don't have one. Thank you again hun *hug*
  13. My husband said that I should post this here, and see what other Christians say about the situation, but that I have to make sure to tell the entire story. So I really need advice, or rather opinions, on what you ladies think. My husband and I have been dating and living together since the day we met. Things were pretty good in the beginning, and we ended up moving to a different city together when he got a job there after college. A month or so into that he started not treating me very well and he admits that. There was a lot of making me feel inadequate and just a lot of things that lowered my overall self esteem. Finally around our 6 month anniversary he told me that he loved me (I had been telling him for a few months). Around my 20th birthday (around 10 months into our dating) I found out that I was pregnant with our first child. We had ups and downs during the pregnancy, and he wasn't as attentive as I would have wished. But after Jacob was born he was a great father. Slowly things got better, but there were still a lot of downs. I had a lot of emotional baggage not only from past relationships, but also my childhood in general. These things, such as my mother being on her 5th marriage, made it hard for me to feel fully committed. Because of that I left him 4 times throughout our dating relationship (before marriage). The first time wasn't really that I left him, it's that I accidentally fell asleep at a friend's house (who happened to be a guy) and it triggered him telling me to come and get my things. The second time was because of how poorly he was treating me, and he apologized for it deeply and I forgave him and tried to forget (but it wasn't that easy because it left a few emotional scars). The third time, I don't honestly even remember why I left. It was all my fault, and I can admit that now. I think that I was just so hurt from the past that I couldn't see that he was changing and that he was a better person. This 'leaving' only lasted about 2 days...as did all the other times we were 'off again'. We started talking again because during the time that I left, my grandmother (who I lived with until I was eleven) passed away and I needed him there for me. The fourth time, was again...my fault. At that point I was completely emotionally destructive (and because of that had sabotaging behaviors towards our relationship). I realize now, in my opinion, that it was because of my fear of marriage. To me, marriage had always been an ending (because of seeing my mother's marriages go up in smoke) rather than a great new beginning. One night on a weekend he had our son (this was the first time I left after having him) I broke down. I called him crying and pleading for him to come back to me and I apologized whole-heartedly. We ended up getting back together and then in September we tied the knot. Now mind you, at this point I was still pushing myself away from Christ and didn't have Him as a big part of my life. So marriage to me, at that point, didn't feel like a sacred union. Finally in February I left again. I was in deep depression, though I hid it well, and nothing could bring me out of it. I look back and realize that all of the things Alex did that I didn't like, pushed me further into my depression. Though the things he did as the amazing husband that he is, didn't pull me out of it at all...I was too far in to find my way out. I finally decided that the only thing I could do for myself and my mental health was to leave, despite that he had done nothing wrong. I even told him in the letter I left (I left a letter and left while he was at work...I know, horrible!) I told him that he was a great person, husband, and father. I was trying to be civil because I knew that it was my feelings that caused my leaving and not anything that he had done. Long story short, he ended up with our son (he has him physically, but we have shared custody...nothing figured out through court), and after this whole thing he has started to go to church and all that again and so have I. We are both now committed to Christ. Two nights ago I prayed to God and asked that if Alex and I are supposed to be back together to show me, and if not then to make it so that we could be civil. Well what happened the next morning? He calls me, being civil, and basically saying that he asked God to give him the strength to talk to me about some things. We ended up having a great conversation where he spoke about how committed to Christ he is now, how he loves me and always will unconditionally, and about believing in the sanctity of marriage. Now that all of that is on the table, the blunt and honest truth... Here is where I need an opinion. Today he added me to his myspace. I found that not only did it say that he was interested in "Dating" and "Serious Relationships", but he also had a girl added (who lives in the town he's moving to this weekend) who also happens to erm...how do I put this in a not-so-judgmental way. Her pictures are things like her showing her stomach, showing off her tongue ring etc etc. This is not only the kind of girl I always worried he would leave me for (because his ex's have been way hotter than I can ever dream to be physically), but it's also not the kind of girl that I would want around our child. At all. The URL she uses in and of itself bothers me..."blondehottie2208"? He is a 26 year old man, who is married but separated, and a father of one with one on the way. Why is THIS the girl he's wanting to talk to? When I saw her I called him back crying to tell him that I didn't appreciate being told how much he believes in marriage, yet we haven't been apart even two months and he's already adding girls from the new town he's moving to and his profile is looking for dating and serious relationships. I made it clear that even though we're not together, one thing I believe in is marriage. I may not be with him right now, but we ARE married and I would never stray outside of that marriage. Even if the shoe was on the other foot, I wouldn't do it. Am I wrong for being upset about this? Am I wrong for asking him to delete her? He says that he hasn't actually talked to her. One thing I said was, "Instead of giving me reasons why it's OK to have her added and why it's OK that you're looking for someone to date...why didn't you just say 'you're right, we've been talking again about our relationship and I'll go and delete her?'" By the time the conversation was over I was so hurt and upset that I was crying uncontrollably and I hung up on him more than once. I need honest and blunt opinions about this. He said I should post it and let others give me their opinion...so that's what I'm doing. Thanks so much in advance.
  14. I separated from my husband in mid-February. I deeply regret it and after yesterday we finally started talking about it with each other more. He asked God to give him the strength to talk to me and say everything on his heart, and so he did just that. We had a little arguing, a lot of crying (from me lol), and lots of discussions that were very positive. We have both have recommitted our lives to Christ since then and we're happy to finally be able to have that as an aspect of our relationship. I just need lots of prayers and good thoughts for us and our marriage, we need the strength to be able to work things out. I especially need prayers for him, that he can learn to trust me (it's hard for him to do after I left) and for him to be able to see that I've changed as a person for the better. Thanks so much everyone <3
  15. I'm always bad at these things so bear with me . My name is Christina, I'm a 22 year old wife and mother. My son's name is Jacob and he's 17 months old, and I'm also currently pregnant with our second child, expected to show his/her face around September 18. My husband and I have been married since early September of last year, but are currently separated and working on getting our lives as a family back together. We both had some problems within ourselves and I felt that the best choice at the time (February) was to leave. I'm not proud of my decision and I regret it, but the 'good' thing is that the time away gave me lots of time to think. Since then I've become a stronger woman and person in general, I'm finally learning to speak my mind and heart, and finally I'm learning to love myself for who I am. During this time I've also reconnected with God after losing Him in my life for far too long. I was surprised yesterday when my husband called me, and the reason he called was because he said that he had called out and God had told him that he should call me. He asked God for the strength to tell me everything he was feeling, and I'm so happy that he did. Now we have both recommitted our lives and we are working to slowly come back together as a family. We think that our relationship is now going to be so much better since we have Him in our lives, because now we share things we never shared before. Our lives are so much different and I thank Him every single morning when I wake up and again when I go to sleep. I guess that's about all, I hope to get to know you all better within time .

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