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funnygirl

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About funnygirl

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  • Biography
    Worked fulltime for several years before making career choice to stay home and parent my children fulltime. Did that for 10 full years. Recently returned to work part time in my previous profession. Also am working on a book for at home moms.

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    Counseling, children, gardening, art, spiritual issues
  1. Just wanted to update this. The Lord finally opened the door. I held out for what I wanted and got it. I wanted hours where I could get my kids off to school and be available to pick them up at 3:30 and be with them. I got a job working from 10 - 2. They needed someone to cover the intake calls during lunch. It is also just down the street from my kids school & near home. The Lord also made me wait until they were legal age to be home alone. It was in the back of my mind, and that is what the Lord wanted all along. Now if they need to be home for a few hours or during the summer, I can at least rest assured that it is legal. As to work, I have risen to the challenge. My brain has kicked into gear after all these years, largely due to volunteer work I kept doing along the way. I have felt good about being out with people daily, having responsibilities beyone home and feeling much more self-esteem. I even have a new wardrobe out of the deal and bought us a new kitchen set out of the money I've earned. So, yes, eventually there was life after kids for me and it feels good.
  2. I'm sure you must be very upset. Ask your husband - does he want to "give up" or does he just want things "to change"? Is his wanting to "give up" because he has another agenda, ie. wants to be free to roam? Is he wanting to escape from a situation that is distressing him? and do you know what is distressing him? What exactly does "giving up" mean? Does he know the only Biblical allowances for divorce? or has he bought into the worlds definitions? If you can get some idea of what you are dealing with and his motives, then it gives you more to work with. May God take authority in this situation.
  3. We made up a game where the kids had to collect tokens and if they got a bamboozle one, they had to do go to "Jail" until someone else used a "free your friend" token to release him. For instance, we put tokens with pictures on them in icecubes. The kids had to pick one and see what was in it when it melted. They had to play a game with carrying cotton balls on a spoon and picking up a wrapped token at the other end. They had to dig for tokens in a cake and in a pot of goewy flour and water, lots of gross things, etc. Eventually we added up the tokens which were various points and the winners got prizes. We have an unfinished basement, so let them spray each other with silly string. It swept up pretty good. I found that some boys didn't like the structure of the having to play a game. It gets tougher the older they get to engage all friends at the same time. Last year when my son turned 10 we did indoor mini-golf. It was something he hadn't done for awhile. While we waited for everyone to arrive, they played hockey in our basement. They seemed to really like that.
  4. It is hard to adjust to the mom not working. It isn't as popular today. However, I feel it will pay your entire family bigger dividends that can't be measured with cash. Trust the Lord. Tell him how you feel. Then commit to carry out the assignment he has asked you to do = be a wife and mother. It is a struggle for most sahm's. It was for me. I eventually did home day care to help make ends meet. It provided playmates for my children and money that helped. After doing fulltime I got burned out. I found that part time or after school daycare helped me remain more balanced. If your husband wants to work 2 jobs I hope it isn't at the cost of the family. You being home can help provide him with emotional strength and help him in practical ways such as providing the home environment so that he is able to do his work. Don't feel guilty about not working for pay right now. You are working - as a mom. This season will be over eventually, and you will be free to work again for pay some day.
  5. Personally, I feel there are better ways to discipline a child that age. I think many people would agree with me ie. Dr. Dobson, Dr. Phil, Barbara Colorosa, and a host of other pshychologists. "whipping" is quite a choice of words to define "spanking". Perhaps you haven't discovered what the difference is between loving discipline and abuse. I knew nothing otherwise either as I saw members of my family whipped or wooped depending on how it was done. I was 16 when I had a lesson at school on what is abuse. That's when I learned that what I had been experiencing at home was not the "norm" and that it was abusive. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old and I probably stopped spanking them around age 6 and instituted other methods of discipline.
  6. Baby sitting/daycare is good, but can burn a mom out. I really enjoyed a year of fulltime daycare as it provided friends for my own kids and forced me to come up with a curriculum. My own kids always enjoyed a curriculum better with other kids involved. To save I stopped going to the mall for entertainment. There is always something to tempt there. I would try to make do with what I had. I used craft paints to paint flowers on my kitchen chairs that I hated. It was both entertaining and like getting new furniture. I learned to say no to my children more. They can talk you into buying anything. As moms we rationalize that our kids are only little for so long and so we want the pleasure of indulging them. But it has a cost. When my kids were really little we had basic cable an no internet. We only ate out or bought pizza once a month. We used hand-me downs if we could get them from friends or relatives. The main thing is to keep a strict budget. Years later you'll thank yourself as you finally have more money.
  7. I found it did suppress my appetite a little. I've been told you have to have huge amounts for its true benefits. It does have some properties that move the metabolism like caffine does. So really it is just increasing your heart beat to lose the weight. It can't hurt if you have learned to enjoy its flavour. My Korean friends swear by it. Of course getting a good brand is important.
  8. Also give her a love object that has been between you and her at breast feeding time so she can receive comfort from the love object. Something made of silk or satin is good. A soother also works good in my opinion.
  9. Give her a bottle of warn water in the night for a few times, not the breast. She'll soon learn it isn't worth it. You will have to deal with a few crying episodes perhaps.
  10. You should have put your son an your mission as a priority and not helped these people. Look what ended up happening, your son got mad at you, you at him, the family became divided. It isn't appropriate to spank a 12 year old. It isn't appropriate to swat in an uncontrolled manner, it isn't appropriate to put other people ahead of family harmony, it isn't appropriate to spank any child in public. You should have left the scene if you din't want your child involved.
  11. Do you think it is being modelled by anyone in the family, ie. husband or yourself? Sometimes it is a coverup for insecurity. He needs to know he is loved even when he doesn't know it all. Sometimes he just needs to be told how it is perceived. My daughter is bright and a bit of a know it all. We have been so busy building her up and saying how smart she is for her self esteem that it is now over the top. I try to point out another person's perspective to her and also let her know when her words can seem hurtful.
  12. What are you all doing to live healither now that age is making it harder to keep slim? I read Dr. Phil's book and think I might be weight-loss resistant since I go to Curves, walk, ride an exercise bike at home and the weight has done nothing but continue to creep up. I am using most of the supplements he mentioned. His weekly diet doesn't allow for snacks for pleasure or desserts. I think to live in the real world, we all like to chomp the occasional peanut, or have an icecream once in awhile. It's tough. I don't binge and resist donuts brought into work, etc. All my control is good, but I'm still overweight. It's so unfaaaiiiirrr!
  13. I came here a few years ago too and it wasn't busy enough for me. I'm back now since I backed off another forum that I was spending too much time on. I wondered if a little input here would help fill my spare time which is less now that I have returned to part time work. I hope you find the interaction you desire.
  14. I don't think the answer is stay and go - but to have this pattern change. You can have his abuse stop if you set personal boundaries. When he seeks to control you by his demands, you can either rebuke his words or take them on yourself- which makes you a victim. To rebuke means: the act of testing or verifying; to stop a forward attack from progressing. In this way, you need to stop and think about what he is meaning in his communication and see if it is a truth God wants you hear? Is there any truth in it or is it an attack? Test his words. Stop abusive or controlling ones. Not by fighing about it, but by not accepting them. Throw them off. When you hear them don't take them in, but pray for God's intervention. I don't think the things you've listed are bad habits. I think it is normal behaviour and it is who you are and how you are wired. For him to slap you verbally for being you is for him to not accept who you are. A marriage is supposed to be a place where two people provide the best environment possibly for each other to grow and blossom. When God said it wasn't good for man to be alone, he meant he needed a wife to make the environment even better, not a battleground.
  15. I have teachers for friends and they say they don't live and die for gifts. Frequent words of appreciation and thanks are what boost them. Our school allows us to email. Perhaps having other moms email their thanks would go a long way, as would little notes or letters.

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