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mommy2liddy

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About mommy2liddy

  • Rank
    Registered User
  • Birthday 05/05/1984

Converted

  • Location
    Texas

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  • Interests
    Playing the drums, listening to music, spending time with Billy and Lydia

Converted

  • Occupation
    I'm an associate at a life insurance company
  1. I guess I should add - should I even be the one confronting them? Or should it be my husband? Of course I believe it should be my husband, but I don't know if he will do it. Okay, here's the deal. We went to my mother-in-law's house last night to visit. My husband's nephew from San Antonio is visiting my mother-in-law so we went over to see him. Well, my husband's stepfather was watching a movie. The movie in question is Universal Soldier: The Return. I'm not so familiar with this movie as I've only ever seen bits and pieces of it. Anyway, my kids had went outside to play for a minute when a scene came on that was without a doubt inappropriate for my husband's nephew and our children. It was a scene in a strip club with several topless women and not much to the imagination when it came to their bottoms, either. I was extremely offended. Neither my mil nor her husband even flinched at this or attempted to change the channel! My kids started to come back inside while this scene was still on but I got to the door before they could and stayed outside with them 'til I thought the scene was over. I was just in shock and immediately worried - what have they watched while my kids have stayed the night over there? Who knows what they've been exposed to due to the carelessness of these two adults who are in their 50's and should know that children do not need to be exposed to this. If I was my nephew's mother I would be outraged as well. But, she may not even care. It seems that she may be the same way. I am just flabberghasted at this revelation. I asked my husband if he thought his mom and stepdad would watch that type of stuff in front of our kids and he said they probably would. He said his mom uses the excuse that "Well, they're too busy playing. They're really not paying attention." I'm sorry - but they do pay attention - more than adults like to think. I would love to tell his mother that unless I feel confident that they would not expose our children to that type of garbage that the kids do not need to stay there without me being there. I say 'me' because my husband is not always so sensitive to these things as I am. I want my husband to give them this 'ultimatum' but I don't think he will. I don't feel it's my place since it is his mother and also, she tends to think that I am overly paranoid as it is. There is a difference between being paranoid and just being precautious and keeping your children's well-being in mind. So I fear if I say something it would be to no avail and she would basically ignore me. Have any of you ever dealt with this issue with your own parents or with your in-laws? How did you handle it? Do you and your husband differ in opinion on what is appropriate and inappropriate material for children to view? I don't worry about what my kids will see at my parents' house because I know how they were when I was growing up. Even if some kissing started up on a tv show they would change the channel immediately. The worst I was exposed to was the likes of Home Improvement where Tim would say something to the effect of "let's go to the bedroom" and they went up the stairs and that was all you saw. My parents did do a tremendous job of shielding us from inappropriate things but my dad was a real spiritual leader as well. I am still praying for Billy in this area. As of right now, I am the spiritual leader. I see to it that the kids go to church, I pray with them, expose them to Christian music and movies, and just try to guard them from all the worldliness around them. So I am just hoping that Billy will pick up in this area and take over as spiritual leader and speak up to his parents about what is not okay for our kids to watch while in their care. Any advice will be greatly appreciated. Sorry to go on so long with this post - things like this just really get me going.
  2. We've recently been studying the below scriptures in my Sunday School class. John 15 1I AM the True Vine, and My Father is the Vinedresser. 2Any branch in Me that does not bear fruit [that stops bearing] He cuts away (trims off, takes away); and He cleanses and repeatedly prunes every branch that continues to bear fruit, to make it bear more and richer and more excellent fruit. 3You are cleansed and pruned already, because of the word which I have given you [the teachings I have discussed with you]. 4Dwell in Me, and I will dwell in you. [Live in Me, and I will live in you.] Just as no branch can bear fruit of itself without abiding in (being vitally united to) the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you abide in Me. 5I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing. 6If a person does not dwell in Me, he is thrown out like a [broken-off] branch, and withers; such branches are gathered up and thrown into the fire, and they are burned. 7If you live in Me [abide vitally united to Me] and My words remain in you and continue to live in your hearts, ask whatever you will, and it shall be done for you. 8When you bear (produce) much fruit, My Father is honored and glorified, and you show and prove yourselves to be true followers of Mine. 9I have loved you, [just] as the Father has loved Me; abide in My love [[a]continue in His love with Me]. 10If you keep My commandments [if you continue to obey My instructions], you will abide in My love and live on in it, just as I have obeyed My Father's commandments and live on in His love. One thing that my class teacher talked about was how we are supposed to be close to the Lord at all times, but that at least in his life, it is not that way. He said that when he is in trouble, he will cry out to the Lord and really get serious about reading his Bible and praying, etc. He will grow closer to the Lord and say to himself, "What was I thinking before when I wasn't close to you, Lord? This is it - this is where I want to be. I'll never stray again. This is so great being this close to you." But then circumstances in his life will get better and he'll start to read his Bible less, pray less, etc. But as soon as things spin out of control, he's right back on his knees and will get close to God again, and commit to the Lord that he'll never stray again but the cycle just goes on and on. This is typical of my life as well. I am just wondering, is it really possible to become close to God and STAY close? Are there really Christians who do read their Bible every single day and pray and do all the things it takes to remain close to the Lord? And even if they do these things, do their hearts remain open to the Lord or do they become hard-hearted and simply go through these motions out of routine or legalism ? I just wonder if there is anyone who has drawn close to the Lord and stayed there. What do you all think? What is your experience in the Christian life? Is it possible to remain in the Lord continually, especially considering our human nature? Would love to hear anyone's thoughts on these things...
  3. Please be in prayer for me. To get straight to the point, I am about one careless mistake away from losing my job. For some time now, the Lord has been speaking to me about how I've not been giving 100% to my employer and how my pride is getting in the way and causing me to stumble. I'm guilty of making personal calls on company time, forwarding joke e-mails and the like, not focusing on my work and worst of all procrastinating. I am the world's worst procrastinator and about a week and a half to two weeks ago I delayed working on something that I knew was going to be somewhat of a pain to deal with. The day I got this particular piece of work, I told myself I would do it at the end of the day but ended up not having time. I told myself I'd do it the next morning, but didn't feel like doing it then. So I thought I would do it that afternoon, and did not get to it then either. This continued day in and day out for 2 weeks. Then FINALLY I worked on it this Monday (19th) and got it off my desk and to where it needed to go. I work in life insurance and the agent called one of my co-workers yesterday wondering why it took us two weeks to get this processed. Of course, the co-worker who got this call is one who never seems to make mistakes and she made no bones about broadcasting the situation to everyone. So then all my co-workers were talking about it within earshot of me, incredulous and critical of the fact that it would take so long for someone to work something on their desk. My supervisor eventually found out (not sure if she just overheard or if someone told her) and told me that it was completely unacceptable to allow work to sit on my desk for so long and that it could not happen again. I was thoroughly embarassed and they asked me what was my reason for waiting so long. So it was terrible having to explain. They have already told me multiple times that if I have something that needs to be worked on to let them know and my workload can be reduced to compensate, but I have a hard time admitting that I need my work lessened. Plus, they seem agitated when you do ask for your workload to be lessened and I am such a people-pleaser that it is unbearable for me to think that they are angry with me for asking for less work. Then this morning my husband called me while I was not on break (and they have warned us about making lengthy personal calls on company time) and talked to me for about 20 minutes. My boss kept walking by and I finally told him I had to let him go. Lo and behold, my boss sent me an e-mail regarding this. So it is no joke that I'm one strike away from being out the door. The bad thing is that the piece of work I took so long to deal with actually turned out to be not such a big deal at all. I know the Lord is allowing my pride to be broken now because I have gone too long without heeding his warnings to me. He gave me chance upon chance upon chance to correct it and I failed to rectify the problem. If it takes me losing this job in order for me to be utterly broken and completely dependent on the Lord then so be it. I really feel deep in my spirit that maybe this is what is meant to happen. There are other things going on in my life that would seem to suggest that a change is in store for me and for my family. Specifically, my husband has taken a new job about three hours away and I think the Lord may have us move, but not sure. It just seems that certain things, a lot of things actually, are pointing us in a new direction. I appreciate any advice or anything you feel the Lord leading you to tell me. Thanks ladies...
  4. mommy2liddy

    Abortion

    I am hands-down pro-life. I became pregnant at the age of 16. Believe me, I was scared to death and I can understand all the things that might be running through your mind in that situation, but honestly abortion never ran through my mind. I have always believed that it is murder. With all the dumb choices I was making back then, I knew better than to do something like that. Luckily, Billy was definitely against abortion as well. Neither of us even considered it at all.
  5. Well... I *try* to get 8 hours a night. I'm usually in bed around 10 then up by 6. I was attempting to get in the bed by 9 so I could get up at 5 and exercise but that hasn't been working out so great. The Lord has really been speaking to me about exercising and eating healthier. I have also thought that it might cause me to need less sleep. We are gradually moving toward a healthier diet, but I've had a difficult time figuring out the best time of day to exercise. If I do it at night after the kids go to sleep, then I have an energy burst and it's difficult to wind down and get myself to sleep. As far as mornings - it kind of works for me, but there are mornings when I just really can't drag myself out of bed. I want to be consistent with my exercise times. I don't want to keep switching it up. So, my next attempt is to try and exercise as soon as I get home from work at 5:30. The difficulty in this is getting that done and also doing all the other things that need to be done before the kids go to bed. We'll see how it goes. Interesting poll.
  6. I'll get right to the point - I am having a severe lack of motivation at my current job. I am going on being here for two years. I don't know why, but after the first year at a job, I lose all motivation. I refer to the first year of a job as the "honeymoon phase" and it seems that after that, I lose all motivation to please my employer and the reality sinks in that this is really what I do day in and day out - sit in front of a computer screen and input information, get yelled at occasionally by insurance agents or policyholders, try to follow our non-written procedures which change daily, and just basically do a job that I know is not within my talents. I am ashamed to admit that my integrity at work is sorely lacking. I am late (if only by a few minutes) most days of the week, I am not as productive as I know I could be, and even though our procedures do change frequently I have not been following the ones I do know by heart. I take a lot of 'shortcuts' and don't fulfill my job duties completely. I worry most every day that I will be fired and yet even that fear does not motivate me to do better. The Lord has been speaking to me about what my calling is and I know it is to go into youth counseling. I was a pregnant teenager and I would love to help teens, especially teen girls. But I cannot get into that at this point - I'd need to get a degree, etc. I don't know if this is the reason I've been doing so badly at work, but I don't think it is. I've been doing bad for a while, even before the Lord revealed to me that I need to get into youth counseling. I called my husband after work today and told him that I felt bad because I was not very productive today and he basically replied to the effect that I am trying to get myself fired. I am not - at least consciously - trying to get myself fired. But I do feel on-edge about it. Any words of encouragement or even of correction? If you feel a somewhat-harsh word is needed, I will listen. I need something to snap me out of this. Our family depends on the money I make, but even that is not motivation for me. Money has never been a significant motivation factor for me in any job I've had. Please pray that the Lord will help me get my act together before I end up getting fired! My husband would be very upset with me and mostly I would be upset with myself. Thank you for your prayers...
  7. I have been so frustrated with the amount of homework that Lydia has had all year long. It's ridiculous. Last night, for example - we got started on homework as soon as we got home at 5:30 (5:30 is the earliest I can get home - I get off work at 4:30 and have a 30-45 minute drive depending on traffic and then pick up the kids so it's usually about 5:30 when I get home most nights). Anyway, she had three math worksheets (one page was front and back), a small book to read, and two phonics worksheets. So I knew it was going to take a long time. We also should have studied for her spelling test that is today but I knew there'd be no time for that. I sat her down with the worksheets I thought she could do on her own while I started supper. Then I sat down and helped her with the math (she's having a lot of trouble with math) until supper was done which was about 6:15 or so. Then as soon as we finished eating (around 6:45) we got right back into the homework and she didn't finish until 7:30. That is normally the time I would have her take a bath and then *try* to be in the bed by 8:00, no later than 8:30. But I felt so sorry for her because she had no time to play so I let her and Michael play until 8:00 and then they took baths and went to bed. Am I the only one who thinks that 1 1/2 hours of homework is too much for a 6 year old? I have spoken with her teacher and she says that most of Lydia's homework is things she is not finishing in class. Lydia tells me that she works slow and the other kids finish their work and then start talking and she is so easily distracted that she can't concentrate on her work. So, as a result she ends up bringing it home. It seems that the teacher should make the other children be quiet if there are other students still finishing up. Lydia's really struggling with math right now. The first half of the year she struggled with reading a lot until someone started working with her one-on-one at the school a few days a week. Then it was like her reading improved overnight!!! She reads quickly and with confidence now. I think that the distractions of the classroom may be too much for her. She frequently gets in trouble for talking at inappropriate times and we've punished her - spankings, taking away privileges like spending the night with grandparents or playing on the computer, but she still gets in trouble. I'm just at my wits end - when I come home from work the last thing I want to do is spend 1 1/2 hours on homework each night. Any suggestions? We are supposed to meet with her teacher at the end of this month to evaluate her progress and see if she can even be promoted. I would love any advice... Thanks!!!
  8. I've just received our electric bill for the last month and it's HUGE compared to what we normally pay. Our electric bills have been much higher this winter than in the summer, though I can't figure why. Texas summers are known to be brutally hot, but I think my dh and I are both cold-natured and so we don't crank the ac up a lot in the summer. Anyway, we tend to use our heat a lot in the winter because we are both so cold-natured and I guess that is why the bill is so high. I was shocked to see how much the bill was this time!!! Please pray that God will help us get this bill paid somehow. My dh handles paying the bills so I am not sure how we are looking this month as far as having extra money. I am trying not to worry about this, but it's hard not to. As soon as I got that bill, I shut off the ac/heating unit. I actually had the air on today because it got up to 80 degrees. I think that maybe the fact that it's been hot one day, cold the next this whole season has probably contributed to the high bill because we are constantly switching from air to heat. I think each time we switch modes it must be a big surge of energy or something. Anyway, please just pray that we will get past this. It may not be as big of a deal as I think it is, because as I said I don't handle the bills, but I am nervous to even tell dh how much the bill is. Thanks so much!!!
  9. Looking back at my original post, I realize it is coming from a completely selfish perspective - I am only looking at what I can get and what I want from the friendship and not at what I can give. I'm not saying that I don't want to be friends with my close non-Christian friend. I guess it's just that I've always heard that you're 'supposed' to have Christian friends to keep you accountable, encourage you in your walk with God, etc. and I really don't have any. As I said, it seems that it's always been non-Christians who have been drawn to me to be my friend. I certainly do not typically approach someone for friendship - they talk to me first. I definitely do not want to drop my close non-Christian friend. She is family (my husband's cousin's wife) and we get along great and have a lot in common. She is a good person deep down and maybe she did get saved as a child, and I just don't know it. She said she used to go to church as a kid. I haven't talked to her in a while - I think I'll give her a call tonight and see how she's doing. I haven't been a great friend and I think I'm immature in the area of friendship - I KNOW I'm immature in that area and maybe God is calling me to a higher level of friendship with others. I've always kind of avoided it because it takes a lot of 'work' and I feel overburdened as it is. Please pray that God would bring me to a higher level of maturity in this area and that he would bring my friend to salvation and strengthen our friendship yet also let me get to know someone better from my Sunday school class that I could talk to often. Thanks...
  10. Okay, this is something that's been bothering me lately. First of all - just for FYI all my life most of the friends I've had have not been Christians. Growing up, the kids I went to church with did not like me and I did not care for them either. They viewed me as an outcast, I suppose. Anyway, lately I've had a desire to have a close, female Christian friend. The children and I are regularly attending a big church and everyone is very friendly, however I haven't had a really opportunity to get 'close' to anyone. And the weird thing is that there's this part of me that doesn't want a close friend. I haven't had much luck in my friendships in the past. The one Christian friend I had as a child left public school to be homeschooled in elementary. After that, I only had non-Christian friends. One of them got angry with me over silly high-school stuff and we no longer talk. The other, who introduced me to my husband is married to my husband's cousin and I really consider her to be my closest friend at this point. But she is not a Christian (not to my knowledge and they certainly don't seem to be) and so I feel I should not get too close. The thing I like about our friendship is that she has children around the same age as mine and she understands that I'm not going to call her every day and I understand that she won't be able to either. And we are both fine with that. Also, we don't buy each other gifts for birthdays or anything else because we can't afford it. And neither of us minds. We get together occasionally and talk a lot but I just like that there's not a lot of 'maintenance' to do. I know she's busy, she knows I'm busy so no one gets their feelings hurt if the other doesn't call. I am hesitant to try and find a new Christian friend because what if she is "high-maintenance"? What if she expects me to drop everything and go shopping together or something like that? I don't have the money for that - very rarely, if ever. Also, will she expect me to call her every single day when I struggle each night to get the necessities done and flop into bed at a decent hour? Okay, I'm either horrible and the laziest potential friend ever or maybe I am a loner and just don't need a friend. I'm conflicted. I would love to have a Christian friend, but part of me is worried that it will be too much work. Do you think that some people are just loners? Maybe I am. Billy is my best friend, really and I talk to him, but I'd like to have a female friend also. Do y'all have any advice for me? Maybe some of you have felt the same way? There are a few women in my Sunday school class that I'd like to get to know better, but as I said I am hesitant. I've been praying that if the Lord wants me to have a friend that she would have the qualities I mentioned above and that she would bump into my path because I am certainly not good at making friends. Anyway, any advice???
  11. I just had to share this because it's so sweet. First off, I'll say that I've been very stressed out lately. Lydia's been struggling with school academically and behaviorally (is that even a word? oh well). Michael's been experiencing separation anxiety. I guess because I've been working late a lot lately and he doesn't spend much time with me. Also, hubby's been working like crazy lately, too. We don't see him much right now and I haven't gotten as much help from him as I'm used to. My job has been a consistent stressor - we're in our busy season and they're really pushing us. It has definitely gotten to me. Also, with dh going to college, I've been trying to help him with his reports, etc. I've just been overwhelmed with everything. Anyway, on Friday of last week, I got a call from our receptionist downstairs. She told me I had a delivery. I immediately thought that it must be something from dh, but wouldn't allow myself to think it was flowers, because I didn't want to be disappointed. I didn't know what else it could be though. I got downstairs as quickly as I could although the elevators in this building are slow and weren't in any rush. I get downstairs to the receptionist's desk and there are a dozen roses (six pink, six red) and two balloons on her desk. I thought, "no, not for me, don't get disappointed!!!" Then she said, You're Danielle? I said, yes. She said these are for you. I was so excited and suprised. The card said 'Thanks for all the hard work and I always love you, Billy.' It was so sweet. All the girls here at work were impressed, especially when they found out that it was not a special occasion - it was just because I had been stressed lately. It meant so much to me to know that he appreciates all that I do. It has helped me especially at work to stay motivated and realize why I am doing all of this. Just wanted to share with y'all...
  12. Naejeirual - I definitely also agree that adults don't need to watch films with that junk either. Lately I've really thought about it and if it's something that's not appropriate for our children, why should we think it's appropriate for us? I believe that if it's something I could not watch with my children then I should not watch it, period. My husband really struggles with that area, though. Probably just the man thing (men are visual) and so he struggles in regards to restricting what is watched in our home. I am praying that the Lord will touch his heart in that area. My media problems are with music (I used to listen to 'secular' music) and it was difficult for me to give that up. But I realized that the music I was listening to was giving me wrong, sinful thoughts and influencing me much more than I realized. I've recently gotten very careful about what I listen to and sometimes a song that I thought was okay will strike a nerve with me and I'll decide that I can't listen to it. I even have to watch the type of Christian music I listen to. Even if it's Christian rock, I tend to listen to rock music when I am angry and it amplifies my anger. So I have to be careful about how 'hard' the Christian rock is. I am safer with contemporary Christian or praise and worship stuff. Anyway, I do think that if we as Christians would stop buying this stuff that Hollywood would get the message. I also wish that Christian filmmakers would really step it up and start making some great films that would be at the Hollywood-level production and quality (as far as acting, sound and visual effects).
  13. I know I can't be the only one to have noticed this but I get so angry when we go to see a G rated film and it is filled with sexual innuendo. So what if it is over their heads? I don't think it should be in there. Period. I used to think that films I watched as a child didn't contain it, but going back and watching them, they do. I realize that Hollywood wants adults to be entertained as well, but I just don't think it has any place in a child's film. What do y'all think?
  14. going a little better Well, after much prayer, God has given me creative ideas for helping Lydia. I came up with a game to help her on her spelling words. I wrote out her spelling words on sheets of paper and taped them down on my dining room floor. What I do is that I'll call out a spelling word and then she jumps on what she thinks is the right word. I'll then let her know if it's right or wrong. We did the game last night and she wants to do it again today!!! I did do this with her last year a little (trying to make it fun) but I just got out of it. There are other things I've come up with as well, but I still need some ideas for helping her with reading. I know that reading to her will help, though. Thanks for the encouragement.
  15. Praise... Just wanted to update y'all on the church situation. Things are going much, much better. I think the turning point for me came when I visited the Sunday school class for the first time. I'm in a young marrieds class and I love it!!! I look forward to church every week now. Even now on Monday I can't wait to go back to class. The teacher is great, everyone is friendly and I"m really learning a lot about marriage. I have had no problem getting up to go to church because I'm so looking forward to my Sunday school class. Worship time is great too. I love the music and also like the pastor a lot as well. I'm excited about this next Sunday. For our early service (8:30 in the morning which is when I usually go) the children's church is having a Christian illusionist come by and I really think Lydia will enjoy it. I love the early service, too. We go to worship first at 8:30 and then go to Sunday school and we're out by 11:00 so still have the rest of the day to relax. I don't go back to the evening service just due to the distance that I am away from the church (30 miles). It would take too much gas, but anyway, just wanted to share how excited and thrilled I am about church now and praying that it continues and that the children get as much out of it as I am!!!

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