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goldilocksmom3

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About goldilocksmom3

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    Registered User
  • Birthday January 5

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  • Location
    Chicago?

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  • Interests
    Interacting with the kids (mostly doing goofy kid stuff), reading, graphic design, and my favorite project of all: writing! (Can you tell that I'm just a bit too much on the wordy side already)?

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  • Occupation
    Mom, Paralegal, Marketing/Advertising
  1. So sorry Sounds an utter mess! My prayers go up for your sister. I have an ex that did the same to me, and I must say that there is nothing more hurtfu. I feel so badly for your sister right now. What a wreck. Please just let her know that she is being prayed for. God Bless, Lorelli
  2. Poor You! I really feel for ya, "secondchance"! I don't know if you have read MY posts about my marriage that has just recently crumbled, but I can assure you that the debt thing and the questions about where my hubby was off to (and what the heck he might have been spending the time and money on) was certainly an issue. There is nothing worse than being left to care for the kids and not having any money. Me personally, I NEVER had any debt until hubby started running up the credit cards. The debt thing literally makes me feel sick to my stomach. I really don't have any good advice for you on this issue, except to say that it might be a good idea to talk to a pastor or counselor. Other than that, if you need a friend, I'm here for ya girl! My situation has become FAR, FAR worse than yours! And yeah, my hubby was a great daddy too... just not very wise with finances, not so great at meeting my emotional needs, and definitely too spend happy. But if it helps any, I will say that all his spendings were about his ideas of trying to better provide for us. I thought he was having an affair for a while too, but that wasn't the case. He was just insecure about his ability to provide for us as he felt he should, and therefore ran up a bunch of debt in trying to overcompensate. I can only pray that this is what you have going on too. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope it all gets better for you. But if you need to talk, please send me a mail. Take Care & God Bless. Lorelli
  3. My Sympathies and Love My prayers and condolences go out to you and the rest of your family right now. I know how hard it is when someone passes so suddenly. Maybe the worst part is the not being able to say your goodbye's. But know what? I'll bet ya that he knows how loved he was by you and everyone else when he passed. And now he's in the arms of Jesus rejoicing in Heaven, and looking down to watch over all of you. Perhaps that thought will help a little for you when it comes to getting through. You're in my thoughts, my heart, and my prayers. With Love, Lorelli
  4. What a Mess... And What Great Blessings Too! Thank you for all the prayers and support, ladies. I don't know what I would do without you. Hopefully things will get better this week. That is all I can keep praying for. We are down to $6 in checking, and less than $10 in available credit at the moment; and here's me still without a job. Obviously I haven't been functioning very well at all. The reason my children went to the hospital was because my oldest had a mental breakdown, and had dragged one of her sisters along with her. She had threatened suicide if my husband and I were to reconcile, and then kept running away from home every time he and I spent time together to work on our marriage. By the time I put her (and her sister) in the hospital, the oldest had not only apparently threatened to kill me, as well as herself, but also started making false allegations that my husband had beat her. This of course got Social Services involved. Everything is over and done with now with Social Services... and all the allegations were proved bogus, but this is far from the end of the story. The hospital recommended that I turn my oldest daughter over to the care of the State so that she could be in long-term, in-patient mental care. The only reason for that recommendation is b/c without insurance (which we lost when hubby left), there was no other obvious option to keep her in therapy. So.... I did what no mother ever wants to do. Rather than put her in the care of the State, I turned over temporary gaurdianship of her to my sister. Since my oldest daughter has gone to live with my sister, she has been much more settled, happy, and is back in therapy thanks to her being put on their insurance plan. Strangely enough, her sisters (my other 2 daughters) say that for as much as they miss her, it's a relief to not have "miss mental bossy brat" (yeah, that's what they call her lately) hanging about and causing nothing but arguments and trouble. I sigh quite heavily as I have to admit that I feel more able to cope without her here too, though. I think this decision to have her living with my sister is best for everyone. But what mother ever thinks she'll say that giving up her first born is the best option????!!!!! Anyway! I've got to get some sleep at some point (the depression/insomnia is getting the better of me), b/c I really have to get back to looking for a job today. (By the way, I am writing all this at 3 am)! But the good news is that despite all this mess, we have still been very blessed. Here's you one little blessing story to make you smile: Even in the midst of all this, we've still had some wonderful blessings too. We received the Christmas food/gift boxes this year, and that was so very much a needed and incredible gift. Also, last week someone put several grocery sacks (and even a cooler filled with milk, juice, lunch meat, cheese, etc.) outside our door at 5:30 in the morning. I have no clue who did it, and no one will take the credit. (I'd like to be able to at least return the cooler)! But that delivery of groceries was such an incredible miracle because I had just sat down the night before with my list of groceries in front of me, (none of which I had any money to buy), and just put it before God to provide. Wouldn't you know that EVERY SINGLE ITEM on that list was what was given to us? I mean, right down to the same brands that I would have bought, too! (My youngest daughter was especially pleased because she had prayed for some cocoa puffs, and-- ha ha ha-- the cocoa puffs were poking out of the top of one of the bags when she went outside and was the one who discovered the groceries)! Pretty neat, huh? Okay, I'm headed off to try to get a couple hours of sleep now so that I can get up and try to find a job today. God Bless to all, Lorelli
  5. Well... It's Officially Over Thank you for all your prayers, abc. Sadly, I have to admit that it's over. Hubby went home to the UK a month ago without saying a single word to me about it until a week ago. I had no clue where he was (not for sure, at least), and no one would talk to me about it either. Needless to say, it has made for a difficult couple of months! I mean really, how rotten was that for him to go into silence just before Thanksgiving, no contact all the way through Christmas (he didn't even send the girls any gifts!), and then there was New Year's, which was followed a few days later with my birthday. And in between all that, I had to put 2 children in the hospital... Then to top it all off, things only got worse when my oldest decided she couldn't stand to live here any more after the whole mess with hubby, so she kept running away. I have ended up giving my sister temporary custody of her because that's the only place that she WILL stay-- plus my sister can provide for getting her the mental care treatment she needs. (I can't afford it. There's no more insurance since hubby left). Well, at least I heard from him the other day. We spent a good 6 hours on IM chat, and resolved a lot of issues-- including agreeing to divorcing. But for now my main focus and need is on getting back to work. There is NO money whatsoever, (and the bills are certainly piling up now), but at least we've been blessed with several anonymous grocery donations. So I hope you all can understand why I've not been online here lately. It's been about all I can do just to find a way to breathe and try to carry on. Please pray that I get back to work soon. That's the biggest need of the moment. Thanks, Lorelli
  6. Maybe what I meant to say, but tried to do so in the nicest possible way -- one that also made me responsible for my own actions-- should have been this: Crumbling marriages is a two-way street. I can't force my husband to stay when he keeps on insisting upon it being over. I guess all that's left for me IN THIS MOMENT is to work on what is wrong with me. As long as I turn it all over to God, and focus on ME "getting right" here, I'll have my priorities and my life together-- whether hubby ever comes back or not. If he would do the same, then we all know that there is still hope and faith in the God of restoration stepping in. But still, I can't change him... just me.
  7. SecondChance... You're right. I've known that and prayed for it all along. In the end the only one we can change is ourself. There are always a million questions involved in splitting up, and Lord knows I can't get away from it. But at the end of the day, I still sit here and throw my hands up and have to submit to the fact that not only am I not in control here, but I also have to accept what I don't want to hear. What I don't want to hear is what I heard last night. After several months of separation, hubby finally admitted what I already knew, but haven't wanted to deal with. He says he's done for good. And the sad thing is that there is a part of me that wants to agree that perhaps it is for the best. Not because I don't want to honor the committment we made before God, but because I can only deal with ME. That vow needs to be honored by both parties... And that isn't happening. I can't FORCE to keep what isn't there.
  8. Here's a good just for fun thing to make us all smile: 'Biblical' Laws for Children Laws of Forbidden Places: Of the beasts of the field, and of the fishes of the sea, and of all foods that are acceptable in my sight you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the hoofed animals, broiled or ground into burgers, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cloven-hoofed animal, plain or with cheese, you may eat, but not in the living room. Of the cereal grains, of the corn and of the wheat and of the oats, and of all the cereals that are of bright color and unknown provenance you may eat, but not in the living room. Of quiescently frozen dessert and of all frozen after-meal treats you may eat, but absolutely not in the living room. Of the juices and other beverages, yes, even of those in sippy-cups, you may drink, but not in the living room, neither may you carry such therein. Indeed, when you reach the place where the living room carpet begins, of any food or beverage there you may not eat, neither may you drink. But if you are sick, and are lying down and watching something, then may you eat in the living room. Laws When at Table : And if you are seated in your high chair, or in a chair such as a greater person might use, keep your legs and feet below you as they were. Neither raise up your knees, nor place your feet upon the table, for that is an abomination to me. Yes, even when you have an interesting bandage to show, your feet upon the table are an abomination, and worthy of rebuke. Drink your milk as it is given you, neither use on it any utensils, nor fork, nor knife, nor spoon, for that is not what they are for; if you will dip your blocks in the milk, and lick it off, you will be sent away. When you have drunk, let the empty cup then remain upon the table, and do not bite it upon its edge and by your teeth hold it to your face in order to make noises in it sounding like a duck: for you will be sent away. When you chew your food, keep your mouth closed until you have swallowed, and do not open it to show your brother or your sister what is within; I say to you, do not so, even if your brother or your sister has done the same to you. Eat your food only; do not eat that which is not food; neither seize the table between your jaws, nor use the raiment of the table to wipe your lips. I say again to you, do not touch it, but leave it as it is. And though your stick of carrot does indeed resemble a marker, draw not with it upon the table, even in pretend, for we do not do that, that is why. And though the pieces of broccoli are very like small trees, do not stand them upright to make a forest, because we do not do that, that is why. Sit just as I have told you, and do not lean to one side or the other, nor slide down until you are nearly slid away. Heed me; for if you sit like that, your hair will go into the syrup. And now behold, even as I have said, it has come to pass. Laws Pertaining to Dessert: For we judge between the plate that is unclean and the plate that is clean, saying first, if the plate is clean, then you shall have dessert. But of the unclean plate, the laws are these: If you have eaten most of your meat, and two bites of your peas with each bite consisting of not less than three peas each, or in total six peas, eaten where I can see, and you have also eaten enough of your potatoes to fill two forks, both forkfulls eaten where I can see, then you shall have dessert. But if you eat a lesser number of peas, and yet you eat the potatoes, still you shall not have dessert; and if you eat the peas, yet leave the potatoes uneaten, you shall not have dessert, no, not even a small portion thereof. And if you try to deceive by moving the potatoes or peas around with a fork, that it may appear you have eaten what you have not, you will fall into iniquity. And I will know, and you shall have no dessert. On Screaming: Do not scream; for it is as if you scream all the time. If you are given a plate on which two foods you do not wish to touch each other are touching each other, your voice rises up even to the ceiling, while you point to the offense with the finger of your right hand; but I say to you, scream not, only remonstrate gently with the server, that the server may correct the fault. Likewise if you receive a portion of fish from which every piece of herbal seasoning has not been scraped off, and the herbal seasoning is loathsome to you and steeped in vileness, again I say, refrain from screaming. Though the vileness overwhelm you, and cause you a faint unto death, make not that sound from within your throat, neither cover your face, nor press your fingers to your nose. For even I have made the fish as it should be; behold, I eat it myself, yet do not die. Concerning Face and Hands: Cast your countenance upward to the light, and lift your eyes to the hills, that I may more easily wash you off. For the stains are upon you; even to the very back of your head, there is rice thereon. And in the breast pocket of your garment, and upon the tie of your shoe, rice and other fragments are distributed in a manner wonderful to see. Only hold yourself still; hold still, I say. Give each finger in its turn for my examination thereof, and also each thumb. Lo, how iniquitous they appear. What I do is as it must be; and you shall not go hence until I have done. Various Other Laws, Statutes, and Ordinances: Bite not, lest you be cast into quiet time. Neither drink of your own bath water, nor of the bath water of any kind; nor rub your feet on bread, even if it be in the package; nor rub yourself against cars, not against any building; nor eat sand. Leave the cat alone, for what has the cat done, that you should so afflict it with tape? And hum not the humming in your nose as I read, nor stand between the light and the book. Indeed, you will drive me to madness. Nor forget what I said about the tape.
  9. Been several days since I logged in to talk to anyone. Sorry I'm not updtating you guys. It's been going from bad to worse on the nightmare scale, but at least there has been some good in it too. I wish I had time to give you a full update, but I can't chat now... have to get back to the real world. Two kids in the hospital, one at home, three dogs, laundry and dishes I've not touched all week... well, you get the picture. I'll try to catch up with you guys when things slow down a bit.
  10. Distracted Been several days since I logged in to talk to anyone. It's been rather hectic here.... and I'm not sure if I should talk about it or not. But anyway, it's been nothing short of a super-duper roller-coaster ride! Can't chat now... have to get back to the real world. Two kids in the hospital, one at home, three dogs, laundry and dishes I've not touched all week... well, you get the picture. I'll try to catch up with you guys when things slow down a bit.
  11. He's not going to come home. Maybe now is the time to pray for everyone's life from the here on forward....
  12. bugger the pc stuff Andrea. I feel for ya! Are things starting to look up for you yet though?
  13. Dottie, please feel free to email me. I would love nothing more than to hear from you. Really! Mabye misery loves company.... gut misery together that talks about happy things together is what keeps us breathing.
  14. I THOUGHT there was... I'll check again. If there isn't, ask ChristianMom if she can put one up there. I'm sure she'd love to do it. --Lorelli
  15. Well... what can I say... I see Satan written ALL OVER this one! Hubby has now been gone for nearly 2 months. Several of you read the background, and my falling apart venting in the "what a mess" thread, but I don't guess it bears re-hashing. Hubby has totally done a 180-degree flip since the last thread I posted. (Thank and Praise the Lord)! He now says that he was truly awful to me, and that he does not know how to be the husband and father that we need. Actually, his main flaw at the moment is a lack of desire to put in the effort to even TRY. He says he has lost his desire and motivation to pray, to seek his role as the Christian leader of this family (something he let go of long ago, and probably the main reason we are here in this boat now), and he is also clinging to his feelings of being miserable where he is at now. Hubby is English. We lived in England right after we got married, so I can say that I quite understand the bits about him feeling so unhappy and uncomfortable in a foreign land. (Actually, I had it FAR worse than him)! But the point is that he's forgotten how to be thankful in all situations, and in all places. He's spending so much time dwelling on his losses, his longings, and his failures, that he refuses to look at what God may have in store for us and our marriage from this point forward. He still tells me every time he sees and speaks with me that he loves me, he couldn't love anyone else, and that he WANTS to be able to live with me as husband and wife. He just doesn't have a clue where to start, and the whole notion (plus unforgiveness of past hurts) is holding him back. Please pray that he will have a DESIRE and the STRENGTH to take the big steps needed in order for us to move forward in our marriage and with our family. My daughters and I need prayer for the softening of his heart. He still comes home every weekend... but always leaves off with a wishy-washy withdrawl and pulling back. He tells me he dislikes this immaturity and selfishness, and yet at the same time does not want to let go of it. Whether the question of hubby's stronger argument being not knowing HOW to let go, or a lack of desire to face change, is simply one I can't answer. Personally I believe it is equal parts the latter, combined with a fear that God is going to tell him that he HAS to face up to both and make some big changes he does not want to consider, much less undertake. (Can we all say, "SATAN" is in the midst here?)!!!?! I believe with all my heart that he will come home... but something is seriously going to have to change on a rather fast time scale. Like I said, hubby is English--he is only in the US on a spouse visa. If he doesn't come home soon, he might be deported-- in which case neither of us will have the option of physically being together and making this marriage work. ... with and through God, ALL things are possible. Thanks in advance for all your prayers, support, concern, advice, care, and love. God Bless, Lorelli

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