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About maggi

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    Registered User


  • Biography
    full time mom & foster mom


  • Location
    manitoba, canada


  • Interests
    biking, reading, learning new things


  • Occupation
  1. maggi


    deffinatly their individual behavior tendancies. i would advise you to check out attachment issues. just typ it into the search bar, as well as fasd, arnd, behaviour issues, basicly everything you can think of. most or a lot of foster children have been prenataly exposed to alcohol and/or drugs. the degree of damage varies, some are phsical and some mentaly but look totalt normal and blend in so well that they can easily slip through the cracks. basicly their thinking ability can be non existant. the part of the brain that thinks has been damaged. sooo you are their brain, you think for them, which is exhausting. in that moment they do not think just do. things like running into the street, yes even as an adult! they just do things so you can not let them play unsupervised...... a number of my friends have comented on that i don't let them do what ever they want. they say if they were in my shoes they would not be able to say no to anything because they would just feel to sorry for them. but you know what? if i did that we would all go nuts and they would not be helped! i know that some adopted children have the same issues as children affected with fasd, due to malnourishment when their brain was developing. these are things that can not be loved away, but they keep these issues for life. so even if their body matures their brain does not, it stays a child. i would say it is extremly important to have a support system. meet with other foster parents. often you are helped and uplifted in your spirit just by knowing you are not alone and have fellow shipmates. what i can not stress enough "yes you do need respite." there is just so much i could say. you do learn as you go. and you hope that the children will also learn by enough repition. it is exhausting, and a lot of days you sound like a broken record when they ask the same question all day long because its stuck in their head, but it is also very rewarding. i wrote down behaviour issues and am so glad i did. when i read it over now, its a bit mind boggeling. if i had'nt writen things down i would have forgoten what we all dealt with. when i read over it now its very heart warming to read how far we have come and what issues we got through. i love my life. as crazy as it is and sounds, i love my life.
  2. maggi


    just found this thread again and was wondering if there are any other foster moms coming here at the moment.
  3. maggi

    foster care

    it looks like this thread is a few years old. just wondering if there currently are any foster parents here?
  4. i use it and i love it. i love that i can stay in touch with family and friends. its a lot better than writing tons of email. you can also choose who sees what, how much of your info you want to share........
  5. yikes! i would have said no as well if it was a group date, as in if the kids where to be paired off. if its friends hanging out together that is different to me. i always tell our kids that they can start dating when they are 23! so recently one of our teenagers came and asked if i was serious about the dating thing at 23, they felt it was a bit old. that was great! i don't expect them to wait that long but me joking about it always opens the door for great conversations. one we have had noumerous times is about the longer you wait the less junk you end up draging with you and if you wait longer you can be more sure its for the right reasons and not just because somebody wants to make out or just have you around as a boy/girl friend. i know that some moms think 12 years is old enough and even push them into it. but god made me mom of my kids for a reason and i want to do my part in protecting them and not put or shove them into certain situations that they are not capable of handling. just think back to when we where 12 or 16, how easily you can be manipulated or coerced into situations or to do things that you know better not to. at that age they don't have the maturity. a really, really really good book that i call a relationship bible and just a wonderfull book is " the truth about guys" by chad eastham. its writen by a guy. he does not beat around the bush. my daughter just finished this book and all her friends have called dibs on it and it's now being passed around. he is a christian, does not have a ton of bible verses to quote but is very to the point and is based on the bible, so you can even pass it on to somebody who wouldn't read a christian book. its not so much about the right age to start dating but about boys, dating, frienship, relationships.... the book is available at christianbook.com for $9.99. i think as moms we also need to be cautious and not let others talk us into things and we start thinking it's ok because everybody is going or attending, even if you might be consideredthe bad mommy on the block for a week. it's very important for moms to have a strong backbone. having said all that, this is my opinion and when i read my post later i might see that my wording is not as good as what i was trying to quickly typ. my fingers always have a hard time to follow my fast thinking:)!
  6. our little ones are in bed, and listening to their prayers is one of the most precious things on this earth. just thought id share my wonderfull moment.
  7. statisticly its 99% of women who don't get pregnant after having a tubilagation, and 1% that do. or is it 99.9% that don't?
  8. maggi


    i am a full time mom and fostermom and can totaly understand the longing to help a child. we have three bio children and at the moment three foster children. a fosterchild is definatly so much more work than your own. there are a lot of foster parents that have given fostering a bad name, a lot of foster parents tell you outright that they do it for the money. then you also have social workers that have given social work a bad rep, and thats why nobody wants to foster, there really are some very nasty ones out there. a lot of foster children are developmentaly delayed, and all children who are moved around have issues, and so much more to deal with than other children. it is a very big challenge, and a lot of foster parents tell you its a lot harder than it looks or than they thought. that if they had known how hard it is they would not have started to foster. the social worker and support worker i currently work with are so so wonderfull to work with. on the same page about things and every fosterparents dream. i am so truly thankfull for them. i sometimes say that people who think they are a christian should try fostering, you will be challenged physicaly, emotionaly and spiritualy. friends of mine have adopted and also faced noumerous challenges. what a lot of people don't know is that often adopted kids are given back, which is very sad because its suposed to be a forever home for the child. and thats why there are so many post adoption support groups out there, to offer support and encouragement. if you are thinking about it, it is definatly worth consideration and a lot of prayer.
  9. amen. thank you for the prayer. i feel like i need it today.
  10. you can say that again and again, he truly is good all gods children singing glory glory, haleluja he reigns!
  11. a friend of mine told me what she did with her kids when they where little. her kids each had 3 babyfood jars and each got 4 quarters for allawance. one q. for sundayschool, 1q. for savings and 2 q. in the spending jar. around here the allawance rate seems to be a $1 a week for each year they are. if you are 10 you get 10 bucks a week. to me that was to much money, so we do half a buck for each year. they all give 10% to sunday shcool or church because all our blessings come from god. we opened an account for each of the kids and they put a few bucks into savings. when we were kids we never got any money, and if we did we were not alllowed to spend it and had to save it. i dont know what i saved it for. kids who get an allowance know their budget and parents who pay their kids an allowance dish out less money than other parents and their kids are better at budgeting. parents who are so against allowance so often end up giving their kids a lot of money with out knowing it. here five bucks, there five bucks, and the kids see parents as a pocket that never empties. if our kids want something they have to save up for it and end up taking better care of things because they had to save up for it and know exactly what its worth. our daughter wanted a build a bear so bad and it took her some time to save up the money bacause she kept spending it. that build a bear is worth so much its never lying around on the floor. so many kids get things just handed to them these days. our kids dont get paid for chores, we always tell them our family is a team and we all need to do our part. if one of the kids is saving for something i put up one buck a day thats up for grabs. it can be tydying the kitchen, vacuming...
  12. if i go shoping the kids all get to make themselves a sandwich, and a snack like an apple or carotts.. then no one can claim that they are hungry and the temptation to buy fast food is not there and we saved ourselfves some money! instead of buying juice boxes for school i only buy them for special occasions like field trips as a special treat. i do buy a pack of 12 small plastic bottled drinks and reuse them for the kids to take juice with for lunch, made from frozen concentrate, to which i always ad a bit more water than the description says, just because it's so strong and sweet. when we have a bbq we like to use up all the space. the extra we throw into the freezer and reheat it. if i have leftover meat from stirr fry, bbq, farmersausage, bacon, all kinds of different beef and pork meats, put them into a container or ziploc bag and freeze. once its enough i make chili out of it and the taste is just great from all the different flavors and smoke! left overs can be the best meals ever. what ever you have just throw in a hand of vegtables, sprinkle cheeze over it and heat it. mmmm mmm good. cooking from scratch is way cheeper than buying caned stuff. if you have very ripe bannanas through them in the blender with milk and serve as a bannana shake, or use them for baking. if you need to go to the city go once a week for the hole day. going shopping once a week or every 2 weeks is also a smart way to save money. making a shopping list also saves money. i like to challenge myself and see how creative i can get by using what i have in my kitchen. i dont buy cereal, thats just sugar any ways. we love oatmeal. i love when i run out of bread, or i wait an extra day or two with baking, just to show the kids what else we can all eat, and think what our grandmas would have done, and that its not the end of the world. i also buy as much as possible at garage sales and thrift stores, and the kids love to go there to. riding a bike instead of taking the car is healther and also saves gas.
  13. hi, i just finished a great book writen by a single mom. its called "the single moms guide to finding joy in thr chaos" by elsa kok colopy. shes been there done that and i really enjoyed the book. i would say - read it even if youre not a single mom. the cover has a child peeking through a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich with holes in it!
  14. hi abc, its going great! it's a maizing what you can find if you ask around and start looking! seek and you shall find! i also found a great christian music station with up beat praise and worship. its great to have a good song stuck in your mind. you start singing or humming and pretty soon the family is humming along. thanks ladies.

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