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Ingrid

Short inquiry: Maximum age for spanking !?

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Hya to all!

 

This is Ingrid writing from bavaria, south germany, wishing you a happy easter - it´s a little late, I know...

 

I don´t know whether it´s inappropriate to occupy some space on your website by a foreigner, if so, please delete this. And sorry for my bad english ;-)

 

Please don´t think too bad of me. I am no mom who hurts her child in any way by using rods or belts, I never took down pants befor a spanky etc., but I have to confess that sometimes, if all words and discussions fail, a flat hand spanking seems to be the only and best way to calm my son down. He´s 12 now, a difficult age.

 

One little example: A few days ago, we had the first really warm day of the year. I drove shopping with my bycicle, and, after promising him a big ice-cream, he decided to accompany me. On the way there, we passed a parking lot where a huge Mercedes-Benz was squeezed in between two other cars. The couple owning the Mercedes stood around, I stopped and we discussed what we could do. They had already called the towing truck but it wasn´t in sight anywhere. The woman laughed and said: "How about the young man in the leather shorts going around and ringing at the doors? Perhaps one of the two owners of the cars can be found." Ok with him up to then, I sent him around the houses and additionaly told him to ask the adults whether they would come and lend a hand at the Mecedes to try and lift it out by hands. A while later, he returned, but not with one of the owners but with some men and women wanting to help. They said he looked so cute that they couldn´t refuse coming here.

We decided that there was no other way to get the Mercedes free but to carry it with muscular strength. We all took a good grip at the bumpers, the four wheel-cases and at the open windows and started to bounce the car sidewards onto the road. My son wanted to help, but I refused it because of the danger of getting hurt etc. He didn´t listen and tried several times to get a grip, too, then he started calling me names, and, seeing him in danger of getting hurt by the rocking and bouncing vehicle, we stopped, I took him at the sleeve, pulled him to the side and passed him a few swats right and left on his leathers. Suddenly he was calm again and we could finish the bouncing of the car.

 

Recently I discussed the scene and the problem in general with some of my best girlfriends.

 

My opinion was: Not hurting is the main aspect but clearly showing him the line. For example, as we live in bavaria, he often puts on those bavarian leather shorts, and spanking those leathers with the flat hand causes not too much pain but a quite loud sound so, by using this trick, he realizes that it´s serious now.

 

Most of my girlfriends deeply agreed, but two of them noted that he´d probably start to bee too old for a few swats now.

 

I´d very much like to know your opinion on that issue.

 

Thanks very much for your attention!

 

Many hugs, Ingrid

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As Long As It Works

 

I think it is just fine to give your son a swat once in a while. The Bible says, "...spare the rod, spoil the child." Obviously, it is a consequence that is working to redirect his behavior right now. I would use it until it stops working.

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I don't really understand the question here...a swat on a garment is not soemthing someone would be that concerned over?? I think this post is one of those INAPPROPRIATE POSTS wanting comments re this issue. We have a thread on this subject already. SEEMS SUSPECT TO ME.

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I believe that in many European countries there is even more politically correct pressure (and sometimes laws) to get rid of spanking than there is here in the States - I think there is good possibility that Ingrid is getting flak for spanking even over the garment.

 

Ingrid, TSSR is correct however that we recently had an entire thread discussing the issue of spanking. You can find it in the Discussion Forum - it's titled "Have Other's Spanked Their Children's Bare Bottoms?".

 

Laurie

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You should have put your son an your mission as a priority and not helped these people. Look what ended up happening, your son got mad at you, you at him, the family became divided.

 

It isn't appropriate to spank a 12 year old. It isn't appropriate to swat in an uncontrolled manner, it isn't appropriate to put other people ahead of family harmony, it isn't appropriate to spank any child in public.

 

You should have left the scene if you din't want your child involved.

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It isn't appropriate to spank a 12 year old. It isn't appropriate to swat in an uncontrolled manner, it isn't appropriate to put other people ahead of family harmony, it isn't appropriate to spank any child in public.

 

Since when is it not appropriate to spank a 12-year-old, and who decided that?

 

I got my last whipping when I was 17 1/2. I'd like to know who came up with all these rules you're pulling out, and what is the source of their validity.

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Personally, I feel there are better ways to discipline a child that age. I think many people would agree with me ie. Dr. Dobson, Dr. Phil, Barbara Colorosa, and a host of other pshychologists.

 

"whipping" is quite a choice of words to define "spanking". Perhaps you haven't discovered what the difference is between loving discipline and abuse. I knew nothing otherwise either as I saw members of my family whipped or wooped depending on how it was done. I was 16 when I had a lesson at school on what is abuse. That's when I learned that what I had been experiencing at home was not the "norm" and that it was abusive. I have a 10 year old and a 12 year old and I probably stopped spanking them around age 6 and instituted other methods of discipline.

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There is certainly a difference between loving discipline and abuse. My husband and I think that is essential that we make clear before and after why our child is being spanked. I usually make her stand up and tell us why she is being punished beforehand. So that they believe it is not out of anger but understand that we love her and why she is being punished.

 

I also don't think that 12 is necessarily too old. My oldest daughter is twelve and was spanked recently when she came home an hour after the agreed time. It is punishment and so the fact that she is more embarrassed because she is older adds to its effectiveness.

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There is a lot of posting on this subjects.

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