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Jhoward

Wise Counsel

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I need some wise counsel. My husband and I got married about 2 years ago and it's been a battle ever since in every way imagineable. I am a sahm but I work part time as a sub day care worker when called upon. My husband makes a decent salary but because he has a daughter from a previous relationship we pay child support and financially we have been struggling since day one. My husband was unemployed at the time of our wedding and then I ended up on leave to have a baby before we knew it - on the first day of my leave my husband started his present job. We both decided that it was in the best interest of our family for me to stay home instead of working to spend half of what I could earn on having someone else watch our child (plus we only have one vehicle). Now, through all this we have faithfully given ou tithe and I believe that the Lord has faithfully blessed us. We are still struggling financially though. It has been months since we could actually pay any bills on time - including our rent and car. Everything is behind. Previously I picked up a nights and weekends job but the lack of transportation and the lack of me being home when my husband was bothered my husband so much that he asked me to quit that job so I did. At the same time I picked up another job (the one I have now) but worked it every morning for 3 hours during the week and with the extra driving the money was primarily covering the cost of gas and causing my husband stress due to the transportation arrangement. That's when I cut down to being a sub. Now my husband has picked up a second job and thinks that somehow this is the solution. I am at a loss. I don't believe that is the solution, but I know he needs my support so I spoke my peace and let him make the choice. There has to be something I can do - but what?

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I will definitely keep you in my prayers! I admire that you are dedicated to being a sahm despite financial troubles. At least your husband seems to support you in that area! Pray diligently and be faithful in tithing and God will bless you. Even though it may be a rocky road, if you do those two things and ask God's blessing, he will do it! Have faith!!! Marriage is something that you have to constantly work at. Without knowing your specific situation, it is hard to give advice. BUT do remember, you have to work at it and it's not easy. Be prayerful, praise and support your husband, and keep a positive outlook. Not sure how helpful this is but hopefully it helps some!

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It is hard to adjust to the mom not working. It isn't as popular today. However, I feel it will pay your entire family bigger dividends that can't be measured with cash. Trust the Lord. Tell him how you feel. Then commit to carry out the assignment he has asked you to do = be a wife and mother. It is a struggle for most sahm's. It was for me. I eventually did home day care to help make ends meet. It provided playmates for my children and money that helped. After doing fulltime I got burned out. I found that part time or after school daycare helped me remain more balanced.

 

If your husband wants to work 2 jobs I hope it isn't at the cost of the family. You being home can help provide him with emotional strength and help him in practical ways such as providing the home environment so that he is able to do his work.

 

Don't feel guilty about not working for pay right now. You are working - as a mom. This season will be over eventually, and you will be free to work again for pay some day.

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