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HISstrengthinMe

this is me

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Ok, so I'm new here and would like to know there are people out there who can identify with my life.

I've been married more than 15 years, have 4 kids and would say we are a happy, strong family. However, my husband has become gravely ill. He is on the list for transplant surgery. We have been waiting for quite a while now and I can't even begin to tell you how excrusiating this is. I feel even bad for complaining because right now his health is fairly stable: he's at home, on oxygen and able to move around and life even has a 'normalcy' to it (whatever that is)! But without this surgery, doctors have very grim life expectancy for him, a severe cold could take him out (if God allowed).

Even so, ladies, when that call comes we drop everything and go strait to the hospital. As much as I know that my husband's life is in God's hands, I have to guide my children through good-bye's and see ya soon's and have the FAITH to believe and know that we'll all be home and well soon. The waiting is worse than the 9th month of labor, I see no end. I have hope, but don't you know how it is shaken almost daily.

A little support here Moms?!

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Hi HIS,

I haven't experienced any of this, but I am here if you ever want to talk or have someone to pray for you. You can PM me anytime, I usually log on a few times a day when I get a chance. What kind of transplant is he waiting for?

Kim

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Thanks Kim!

I was so happy to see your post. He needs new lungs. He's had a disease since he was 3 yrs old. When I married him, he was still very able. That has really changed. Thanks for being there.

Dawn

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I sort of understand what you are going through. Not to the extreme that you are currentyl facing. My husband was very ill for 12-13 weeks. The doctors, we could not figure out what was wrong with him.:( He would come home from work and go straight to bed, and sleep for hours on end and never feel up to doing much of anything. He lost 30 pounds rapidly and looked pasty and pale. Dark circles, just not healthy looking.Very skiny and mal- nurished. During this time we were also on a rocky path in our marraige. He would say and do things that really hurt my feelings , much more then normal. None of the things he was doing, or the decisions He was making made any snse with who I knew him to be. I couldnt understand what was happening to him. I was told to try and look past it and just remain as a loving presence in his life. Continue to do the things that I needed to do for him. But all I could begin to think about was being a widow and having to do things all on my own now. I suddenly had to think about getting a job and becoming the bread winner and the provider for the family if he couldnt work anymore. The uncertainty of what was wrong and how it would effect our family was a heavy burden to carry, which you may carry now.

 

It is hard what you are going through. I sense God wants to do a miracle in your life. Ask Him to reveal the miracle to you. Watch and see how great and how good your God is and what He desires to do for you in this time of need. It is intimate and meant only for you and your family.It is His love in action for you. He will uphold you with His hand and carry you. He will free your hands from there heavy task. He will take those fears and uncertanties , questions , doubts that you cast down at his feet and when you have left them there, He will fill your heart and mind to overflowing with His Peace that surpasses your understanding!

 

"Come to me all of you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of me, for I am meek and lowly in spirit. My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

 

Matthew 11:29-

 

 

You are not alone in the emotional feelings and wearniness of it all. IT is valid and you can find rest for your soul. :p You are in the midst of a hardship. But you are making it and you are becoming a beautiful and strong proverbs 31 woman in the making. God sees your heart and He knows all of your families pain. None of this escapes His eyes. You are his loved and cherished daughter and your husband his adored and adopted, strong and healthy son.Start believing that. Your family will be given the strenth to endure this trail and the glory of God will be revealed in you and others will see it and glorify the Father in Heaven.

 

 

I went to the church and recieved healing prayer for my husband. I stood in the gap for him when He didnt have the strenth to do it for himself. The elders annointed me with oil and prayed for healing to come upon his life. He is totally fine now and gained all the wait back and returned to his usual self.( He also deeply apologized to me for all that was done during that time. The sickness was causing emotional turmoil in him and was causing him to act out in fear.My prayers are most certainly with you sister.! God is near to you.Which I am sure you know!;)

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Ok, so I'm new here and would like to know there are people out there who can identify with my life.

I've been married more than 15 years, have 4 kids and would say we are a happy, strong family. However, my husband has become gravely ill. He is on the list for transplant surgery. We have been waiting for quite a while now and I can't even begin to tell you how excrusiating this is. I feel even bad for complaining because right now his health is fairly stable: he's at home, on oxygen and able to move around and life even has a 'normalcy' to it (whatever that is)! But without this surgery, doctors have very grim life expectancy for him, a severe cold could take him out (if God allowed).

Even so, ladies, when that call comes we drop everything and go strait to the hospital. As much as I know that my husband's life is in God's hands, I have to guide my children through good-bye's and see ya soon's and have the FAITH to believe and know that we'll all be home and well soon. The waiting is worse than the 9th month of labor, I see no end. I have hope, but don't you know how it is shaken almost daily.

A little support here Moms?!

 

Father we come on the behalf our dear sister and her gravely ill husband.

Father we come asking for the right words of prayer for this family.

 

Father we come tonight to ask if you would rest upon this family as a pillar, strength and a miracle.

Father we come because we do not understand your will and your ways.

Father we don't understand why, but this we do know that you are our healer.

 

Father we come tonight to ask if you would open our eyes and ear that we will receive from you, your love, your mercy, your grace, your kindness, and meekness..

Father for we know that healing comes from you .

Father we are asking if you would relieve this long and excruciating pain.

Father we are asking if you would draw them closer to trust you, for we know that this is not an easy walk, in waiting.

Father comfort, lead and guide them by your Holy Spirit.

Father we are asking if you would remove all doubt and fears.

 

Father we praise you and honor you that he is fairly stable: he's at home, on oxygen and able to move around and life even has a 'normalcy' to it.

Father we thank you for moving in this life.

Father thank you for protecting him from colds. Father we are asking for to put a hedge all around him.

Father thank you for being with this Mother and Family, for your light is truly shining in her, give her strength to finish the race.

Father, and let her and the family be victorious in Jesus name. Amen.

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I'm here for your too!!! I have started back to work and haven't been able to post as much. I have no idea what you are going through with your husband, but God brings us all together and I am praying for you and him and your family. Lifting you up in prayer everyday. If you need me I'm here.

Your sister in Christ!!!

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Ladies, I think I've been on this site for maybe a week. I've read your posts to eachother, chatted, commented, and introduced myself in an effort to find much needed support. This week has felt completely different to me. All of the sudden there are promises of prayers from everywhere. I knew I wasn't alone, but this week I feel so....covered. Thank you ladies, for caring about a total stranger and I am oh so very thankful to our Lord for leading me to this forum, because I can tell much good will come of it.

Feeling blessed,

Dawn

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Praise God Dawn!!!!!! I'm fairly new here myself and I have to say this is a wonderful place to be!!!!!!!!

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Welcome to this place.

This is where God has brought you to learn of his ways, his will and purpose for your lives.

He has brought you here to support and be supported by all of us.

Give of your self and God will give back to you.

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hallelujah!!!! In HISstrengthinMe.....I must say, you have been an absulute delight to me too!!!! wait you hear that ticking....... tick tick tick?

 

 

Its cause your the bomb!;)

 

 

soooo glad you are hear!!! I like ya!

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Things are...

 

You were right when you told me the Lord drew me to this site, abc. Ever since I've been here I have felt connected and supported.

 

My husband is ok right now. He did have a little infection or something a week or so ago, but we caught it quick and he just needed antibiotic, no hospitalization. He did have some breathing tests and blood work at the local hospital this last week. It sucked, sorry. :( They have to get a blood gas which is an extremely painful blood draw from an arterial vein either in the wrist or the elbow. He has so much scar tissue, this is really impossible. There's something profoundly disturbing about hearing your husband scream out in pain and asking them to please stop. I was glad when it was over, but they never got thier blood. I don't know what that will mean.

 

We go this week out to USC for follow up. Usually a good visit out there and this time we'll stay a bit later, have dinner and attend a transplant support group. There will people there who may still be actually in the hospital waiting or having just recieved thier transplants. (either heart or lung for this meeting so some cases are quite severe) It keeps things in perspective and looking out instead of in.

 

oh, my boy is on my lap...he says..."hi abc!" :mad: he likes the mad face! No offense, ok? lol

 

Anyway, this site and the posts from ladies like you and secondchance and my new friend JHoward are really helping me keep it together. I don't feel nearly as heavy or alone. I consider it a God-send. He knew just what I needed. Thanks for asking abc and I'll give you an update after USC.

 

here's a smile........:D

Dawn

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This is me...again

 

I hope you don't think this morbid of me, but I pulled this up and re-read my very first post of a thread on this site, about 10 short months ago. I'm glad I did. I was reminded about how completely purposeful our God is in so many ways. Truly... he opens doors and closes them. He gives and he takes away. There is a timing for everything under His Heaven. He is Sovereign and He is Good, All the time.

 

I have struggled a lot this past week. I think the dam broke or something. I wasn't aware that I was trying NOT to cry or NOT to grieve, but apparantly there are a whole lot more tears to be shed and I feel somewhat 'hungover' most of the day. Some may think it naive, but I really did not think or believe I would lose my husband. I saw multiple and various things that would cause me to be seriously concerned. I knew his life was in jeapordy, I just never let myself believe it would ever come to that.

 

Now it has been almost 2 months since he went home to our God and I miss him so much. Christmas shopping for the kids is really hard. We always decided that stuff together. There are so many 'little' things that just creep in and almost completely side-swipe me. I am thankful to the Lord for all the friends and family around me. I honestly don't know what I would do with out them.

 

This weekend I'm taking the kids up to the high desert to visit our home church and spend some time with friends... many of whom made the trip down for Kenny's service. It will be good I think, and get us out of town for a little breather. I haven't been up there in more than two years maybe?! We are all excited to go.

 

I just wanted to say to all of you who have prayed with me, talked with me, laughed with me, cried with me and most of all... just listened... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A HELP IT IS.

I THANK MY GOD EVERYTIME I REMEMBER EACH OF YOU HERE AT CHRISTIANMOM, SOME OF WHOM I NOW HAVE MET AND CONSIDER A VALUED FRIEND. PLEASE HERE ME SAY THANK YOU FOR WALKING THIS JOURNEY WITH ME.

 

~~~~~~~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!~~~~~~~~~~~

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Hello His!!!

 

I´m sorry to hear you are walking along a not very easy road now...

However, maybe I can't do much... but if you ever feel like talking.... I will be right here... any time... just let me know!!!

 

http://es.youtube.com/watch?v=CvEAwpVOoiU

 

This is a song that I like very much and helps me day by day...

 

Remember you will NEVER walk alone... you have Jesus and you have us, your sisters..!!!!

 

a big hug

 

jenny

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God is Good all the time

 

I hope you don't think this morbid of me, but I pulled this up and re-read my very first post of a thread on this site, about 10 short months ago. I'm glad I did. I was reminded about how completely purposeful our God is in so many ways. Truly... he opens doors and closes them. He gives and he takes away. There is a timing for everything under His Heaven. He is Sovereign and He is Good, All the time.

 

I have struggled a lot this past week. I think the dam broke or something. I wasn't aware that I was trying NOT to cry or NOT to grieve, but apparantly there are a whole lot more tears to be shed and I feel somewhat 'hungover' most of the day. Some may think it naive, but I really did not think or believe I would lose my husband. I saw multiple and various things that would cause me to be seriously concerned. I knew his life was in jeapordy, I just never let myself believe it would ever come to that.

 

Now it has been almost 2 months since he went home to our God and I miss him so much. Christmas shopping for the kids is really hard. We always decided that stuff together. There are so many 'little' things that just creep in and almost completely side-swipe me. I am thankful to the Lord for all the friends and family around me. I honestly don't know what I would do with out them.

 

This weekend I'm taking the kids up to the high desert to visit our home church and spend some time with friends... many of whom made the trip down for Kenny's service. It will be good I think, and get us out of town for a little breather. I haven't been up there in more than two years maybe?! We are all excited to go.

 

I just wanted to say to all of you who have prayed with me, talked with me, laughed with me, cried with me and most of all... just listened... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A HELP IT IS.

I THANK MY GOD EVERYTIME I REMEMBER EACH OF YOU HERE AT CHRISTIANMOM, SOME OF WHOM I NOW HAVE MET AND CONSIDER A VALUED FRIEND. PLEASE HERE ME SAY THANK YOU FOR WALKING THIS JOURNEY WITH ME.

 

~~~~~~~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!~~~~~~~~~~~

 

HISstrengthinMe,

 

I too remember this time when you came to the site

I too remember I was at a low and you lifted me up and gave me strength, courage and hope.

I too am glad you gave.

 

God has a plan and a purpose for all of it.

He has open doors that no one can close.

All of us have been given gifts from God, some are for a life time and some are for a short moments that last forever.

The things he takes molds and shapes us for the His use.

 

Yes, my dear God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

In your struggles rejoice in Him. Hold on don't you ever let go.

Let the dam break, for it is purifying, cleansing of your soul.

Cry and grieve for He has a BIG shoulder to cry on, and the thing is, He is right there in your every moment.

 

He is equipping you everyday, by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Read your bible and pray everyday, for you are washed in the blood of the Lamb.

Kenny maybe lost in the natural, but he lives in you, your children oh how precious it is when you look upon there faces.

 

I believe you were in a state of disbelief in order for Him to carry you through.

 

I am praying for that same strength that you gave to me, that it will get you through this Christmas and the days to come.

There will be creeps, I too can relate to creeps and they will be.

But joy comes in the morning. Keeping talking, stay around family and friend for they need you as well. All working together accomplishes much.

 

Enjoy your week end and get some quiet time as well, Sundry time and divers' manner God specks to His people.

 

HISstrengthinMe, we are all one body and we serve the one true living God.

May the Joy of Christmas Bring you Love, This Greater Love that God Gave to us, by giving us His son Jesus, that we will have life.

~~~~~~~~~~MERRY CHRISTMAS!!~~~~~~~~~~~

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What is the disease that he has? My mother recentally was told that she has pulminary disease and COPD and may eventually have to have a lung transplant later in life. The dr told her that she has probalby had it all of her life too and was never diagnosed. I haven't ever delt with anything like this either, but I am praying for your family too.

 

With love,

Melissa

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Lissajayne05,

 

Hi there! Kenny's disease is considered an oprphan disease. I don't know the numbers, but any disease that affects only a small percentage of people is considered as such. It has gone by a couple of different names meaning similar things... Pulmonary Avilar Protinosis is one. Essentially a build up of too much proteins in the lungs and damaging/hardening the avili on the lung wall.

Innersticial Pneumanitis is another term, which I'm told is like a permanent case of pneumonia. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder) is most commonly thrown around to describe anyone who struggles with breathing problems and stuff related to it. Pulmonary Fibrosis is also becoming more common and simply refers to the scar tissue built up in the lung and bronchia due to numerous bouts of infection.

 

I am sorry to hear your mother is facing the difficulty of a breathing disorder. It is truly an evil disease and so subtle in it's onset, people often dismiss a person's struggle. There is much anxiety attatched to breathing disorders. Just think about the last time you got the wind knocked out of you or couldn't hold your breath under water, or choked on a chip and couldn't catch your breath. It can be difficult to relate unless we remind ourseves.

 

Just a little FYI... I really enjoy the site http://butyoudon'tlooksick.com

 

It's funny, but relateable. Especially for healthy caregivers of sick loved ones. If you feel like it, check out The Spoon Theory. (I posted that link on this site somewhere on here awhile back.) The site focuses on invisible illness and how people feel when no one understands the daily struggle. It's good medicine. Hope you enjoy it!

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My Dear Abc...

 

Thank you for your gentle words.

 

I have spoken to numerous people who so diligently and confidently prayed for Kenny's healing and believed for it with all hope, and now struggle with

the reality that God wanted to take him home.

Healing is a mysterious thing.

The Lord promises it for us and encourages us to believe and have faith. I think that, in our humanness, we forget that God's ways are not our ways and He is Sovereign. I hope we all know I don't mean sovereignty in the sense of a careless and selfish dictator who does as he pleases without regard to his people or kingdom, but more of a King who makes strategic choices based on a broad picture of far reaching effects things can have on His world.

This King, the same King we celebrate the birth of this Christmas, is the King who mercifully ended my husband's struggle. At the core of this Sovereignty is where my trust in HIM resides. I think that is why Kenny and I both so loved medieval stories of knights of bravery, songs of courage, deeds done with valor, and simple men and women who put their trust and hope in their King because if He doesn't do his job well, they would certainly perish at the hand of a ruthless enemy.

 

I don't know if I agree that I "walked in a state of disbelief in order for God to get me through". I would like to think that I walked in a blind and desperate faith and hope that God would prevail and restore Kenny to me and our children. The Lord did prevail, but it most certainly did not look like I thought it would. Even so, I can lean back on one thing and only one thing. I trust my God and I love Him with and unswerving, committed love. He has got me and my family. My unanswered questions may remain unanswered, but my peace can be obtained and secured for I know that He is God and He is Good. Always.

 

Much love to you abc, I always enjoy talking with you, my friend.

 

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I hope that you are ok and that you and the kids are find.

 

as for

I don't know if I agree that I "walked in a state of disbelief in order for God to get me through".by you

 

Some may think it naive, but I really did not think or believe I would lose my husband. by you

This statement I made was from your statement above, maybe I miss read or miss understood.

 

Thanks for clarifying....................

I am really tired and I am going to get to bed early. It has been busy at work and home preparing for year end and getting ready for Christmas.

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Father God we thank you for blessing this family

Father God we continue to pray for strength and that they are able to stand on the foundation that you have lay.

Father God keep them in perfect peace.

In Jesus name. Amen.

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