Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
CHARISSE

How to decide how many children you want to have?

How to decide how many children you want to have?  

132 members have voted

  1. 1. How to decide how many children you want to have?

    • Finances
      31
    • Career or educational oppurtunities
      5
    • Religious beliefs concerning birth control
      4
    • Total faith and dependence on God
      48
    • Other:please specify
      44


Recommended Posts

I have three children ages 7,4,and 2 with one due in October.I have a special desire in my spirit to raise and teach as many children as God gives us.I have given each of my children back to God at birth[as my mom did with me] and I live by the fact that these are really God's kids and I feel so blessed to have been given the chance to raise them to know who their heavenly father is!!!!!!! So,I wondered what do other Christian moms think?How have you all been led to decide how many children God wants you to have or adopt?What are all the factors that you have used to make your decisions-your age,husbands age and salary,number of kids already,cost of living,age of current children,schools in your area,homeschooling pros and cons........?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have one daughter, however, my husband was married previously and had children, so we agreed before we married that we would have two. We are still waiting on number two!! (and waiting, and waiting, and waiting. . . LOL!) Anyway, I would have loved more, my husband wants to be sure he is able to take care of all of his children (even though they are adults now), so we decided to limit to just two (but I am open to more than that!!)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is another sore point in my life...I have 4 children and my hubbywent and had a vasectomy. I am against this totally. I wanted more and I was not done...I am praying that God will open his eyes and will allow my hubby to have a successful reversal in the future, i would love to have more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I sympathize with you zajanica. I just got remarried and my hubby has been saying he's going to get a vascetomy. I don't want to make him a daddy against his will, but I sure wish he would yield to God's will.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Dh and I have always taken one at a time (thankfully no twins! LOL). We have four children, three are living and one is in heaven. We want to try for another, but for now our reasoning in how many to have is pretty simple. Sanity level! Dh and I want a large family, but we are leaning towards only having one more. We look at finances although I do not believe that is a big consideration in that first year, we look at our housing situation to see if we have the space for another, take into account if I am ready to be a mom to an infant again. I know my limits and think that it is important to take it into consideration before reproducing like a bunny. JMO. I want to be as stable as I can emotionally so that I am a good mother. What good am I if I am unable to cope with that many children?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I love kids!

 

I have had three children. My first was a boy that I the Lord took while I was 9-months pregnant with him (only 2 days after my due date). Since then, I have had a miscarraige, and now have a beautiful healthy baby girl. She is an amazing joy to our lives!

 

It may sound odd, but I'd like to have four children (living). My pregnancies are hard, but the reward is awesome! I just trust in the Lord to decide how many children he has for my husband and I to raise. Like you, we have given all of our children to the Lord, and I never knew how hard that was until I lost my little boy...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

family planning ?!

 

It's not always as easy as it sounds !

 

I've 4 children and 2 confirmed miscarriges.

 

Our first child was born 2 weeks after our 1st wedding anniversary , and we thought having babies was easy !!

 

there's 5 years between 1 and 2 then we had another 2 17 and 22 months apart , NOT planned at all .

 

We certainly hadn't expected 4 children but the Lord knows best ,you can do everything to have a child but if it's not His will the child will not come until it's the Lord's timing and vice versa you can go out of your way to avoid a pregnancy but again He is in control.

 

we wouldn't be without any of them and sometimes I feel I'm going round the twist , but I fall back on the fact that I'm doing the work I have been given .

 

Just my thoughts.

 

W2:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

WOW! It's great to see women who want lots of children. There are so many scriptures that refer to having lots of children as a blessing. The first time I wanted to be a mommy, I was 7 years old. My daughter beat me! She is three and she says, "God is making me grow up, so I can get married and have a baby in my heart." She thinks babies come out of our hearts. I have two children, so far. Celeste is 3, and Joseph is 16 months. I'm ready for more, but my husband wants to wait a little longer. I have been praying to have twins. I would like a boy and a girl. God says if we obey Him, He will give us the desires of our heart.

 

People criticize and tell me, your going to be like a mother cat with so many babies. The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he that seeks counsel is wise! (Pr. 12:15) What better counsel than God's living Word!! Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children to a man in his youth. Happy is the man whose quver is full of them!!(Ps. 127:4-5)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Right on Ani! Amen sister!

 

I always wanted to have twins myself. I had 2 friends who had twins when I had my son. After 2 miscarriages, I prayed all the more to be blessed with two. I conceived the month following my second miscarriage and I knew it was twins. I knew in my heart. I pray the Lord allows you a double blessing as well! :D

me&twins.jpg

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't think I knew until after my last child was about 6mos old.

At that time a friend of mine gave birth to her third. At the hospital I held her new baby, kissed him on his tiny forehead and handed him back.

Afterwords I realized that I didn't have any longing in my heart to have another of my own. It was then that I knew that I was content and happy with the children that God had already blessed me and my husband with.

Up until that point I still wasn't too sure.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have three children, 5,4, and 14 months. I always wanted a big family and even had issues with birth control. After Jack (the four year old) was born I was spent. It was a tough pregnancy and a tough year emotionally. I didn't want more. Then I did and we had Joe. I almost died having him and now I am done. I couldn't face the fear of leaving my children without a mom - so my husband had the surgery. You all know how it is - who is going to love my children like I do? So, now we are getting licensed to do foster care and adopt. I am at peace with the decision we made, but I am still against birth control personally. Yes, I am inconsistent and hypocritical and human. I am also really excited about loving other women's children the way I would hope someone would have loved mine had I died on the table.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

decided for us..

 

We have two boys and after the loss of my third baby, 2.5 years ago it came clear to me that our two boys were our blessings from God and that was enough. My husband had a vasectomy and we feel good about the decision, besides, my two boys seem like 5 kids most of the time!! LOL!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have 2 boys, ages 4 and 2. Our oldest child is extremely strong willed and was born with a cleft lip and palate (genetic on both sides of the family). He also has sensory integration dysfunction. He was our deciding factor :-) I have my hands full with the two we have!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would have to say our decision was a tie between several factors... all under the umbrella of faith in God. God has blessed our life in ways financially that have made now a "good" time. God has blessed my husband with a heavenly job and myself with the desire to nurture my children at home, thus making this a "good" time in regards to our careers. What we've studied to be God's opinion on birth control led us to a method of family planning known as the "ovulation" method and requires simply that I maintain an awareness of what my body is doing and we avoid sex on certain days of my cycle. The final push in the conception of our daughter was that we discussed the strong message we were getting from God in light of the above factors. Most importantly, we know that God works all things together for good for those that love him; had we gotten pregnant at an earlier time when our finances weren't as stable and when my husband's job was stressful and demanding 60 plus hours a week, we still would have been able to rejoice in the gift of life that God had pushed past our "worldly wise" family planning method. God has told us that children are a blessing... he has told us that murder is wrong... and he has asked us to trust him. If a couple is walking daily with the Lord, striving to adhere to those three directives, then they'll know when and how many children God has meant for their life.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Children

 

We have two children at this time. Christian will be 6 in November and Hailey just turned 2. I never thought I would want more children after Hailey especially since I was blessed with one of each, but for the last couple of months I have had a desire to have another. We have given both our children to God as so many of you have and I am seeking Gods will on having more children. My husband is still uncertain whether he would like to have another child but he hasn't said no. He too says all in Gods timing if its Gods will we have more. If its Gods will to have more I am sure the desire will grow in my husbands heart. I feel blessed already with my two precious children. What more important job than to raise Gods children!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Something that I've found interesting but have never looked into in depth...

 

When God gave Moses his Law it was in order to demonstrate to people that they had no hope of living a righteous life apart from him, and that they needed to rely on His grace. However, this didn't mean that the laws weren't practical rules for living in their own right. A great many of the laws, particularly the civil, would probably bring blessings to our lives if we followed them. I've always found it interesting that one of these laws, regarding cleanliness, said that a woman was considered unclean and shouldn't be touched for seven days after her monthly discharge. With today's knowledge of biology, we know that seven days after her menstrual flow has ceased brings a woman into her most fertile days (assuming an average length cycle). If a husband and wife abstained for the duration of her flow (an unclean time) and for seven days after, I would bet there would be good chance they would jump at the opportunity to know one another intimately as soon as they were allowed... thus resulting in a high rate of conception. To my knowledge, God doesn't directly address today's questions of birth control or family planning anywhere in the Bible... the closest He comes is his Old Testament Law directives and in his telling us that children are a blessing and that they are jewels in our crown.

 

Is anyone aware of other Biblical directives or prehaps books or studies on the subject?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We don't have any children at this time. We would like two children, but whatever number of Children the Lord decides to bless us with is just fine. I'd also like to adopt one.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I would like 4 kids but dh says 2 or 3. I DO NOT want 3 do I guess we're stopping at 2. Right now, ds is 1 1/2 and we are going to start trying for #2 in September.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If I had my way, I would adopt more. I have 5 children and we are still involved in fostercare. As a matter of fact, right now I have a little 2 year old that I just adore. She has been with us for a week and I already can't leave her sight. She is so attached. She has a sister who is in another fosterhome and my husband said, Let's just get the 2 of them and then adopt them. What a Shocker that was. We adopt our youngest Friday and he says that is it:-(

Basically, the reason is age. He will be 50 this year while I just turned 39.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We have three children ages 14, 11 and 3. We are now discussing if we should have another child. I would love to have another but I work full time outside the home and I don't think I can bear to leave another baby with a sitter. I work because I have to not because I want to. If I knew there was a way for me to stay home, I would definitely have another child.

People act like I am crazy because I chose to have a 3rd child when my other 2 were so much older but it was wonderful to me because they have helped to much in taking care of their little brother and we were much more financially and emotionally ready for our 3rd child. We had our first 2 at a very young age. We were able to enjoy the last child more instead of having to worry about everything.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have three wonderful surprises. My first surprise is Alexis who came from a previous relationship when I was 17, my second is Samuel who came right after my husband and I were married, and my third is Benjamin who came when I was still on birth control. I'm extra fertle, so we decided that three was enough and we have gone through the procedure to prevent anymore. Being an only child myself, I first felt overwhelmed at the thought of three kids, but I have come to realize that I have added to God's creation. I'm in the process of fully accepting that these children are not mine! They are God's children and He has trusted me to raise them to be believers. I'm so blessed that He has given me this wonderful task.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have three daughters: Stephanie (11; 6th grade), Annaleise (10; 5th grade), and Tatyana (8; 3rd grade).

 

I never planned on having children at all... okay, that's not true. I wanted to have babies since I WAS a baby, but life made me hard. I remember being 2-years old and "nursing" my baby dolls alongside my own mom and talking about getting married and having kids of my own (12 of them, I said); but hey... life and living can change every ideal we ever held to.

 

My first daughter still can't get over the fact that she was totally unplanned and unexpected. I was nearly 20 when I got pregant with her, and I didn't even really know her father that well. (Yep, shame on me). But what I can't seem to get through her head is that GOD always knows what is best-- He gave me her when He did because I needed that, and I suppose that also means she did too.

 

Daughter #2 was intentional-- born only 15 months and 2 weeks after daughter #1. I didn't want a spoiled rotten only child, and besides, it was God's plan anyway. (Utter havoc on my body, but sometimes that is the sacrifice we must make).

 

I thought I was done after No. 2... but that wasn't for me to decide. No. 3 came along 2 and a half years later. After Tatyana was born, I had my tubes tied... I was done with having any more.

 

I'm long since divorced and re-married to someone who cannot have children of his own. And funny thing, he doesn't care to either.

 

But you know what??? Gosh, I sure would love to have more children now. I'd love to Foster Parent... or at least take in every hurting stray (or not so stray) child I can find. All of my daughters have that same heart for reaching out to them as well. (I joke sometimes to hubby that he's got FOUR mommies in the house)! But that isn't going to happen.

 

Our house is too small, our circumstances don't provide, and most importantly.. hubby doesn't want any more kids. (Part time or full time).

 

Having kids is all about the passions that God gives us. I want more... but maybe what I really need to be saying (considering the circumstances with hubby, house, and finances) is that I just need to ask God how He wants me to redirect those passions. Teaching Sunday School and substitute teaching in the schools (plus the endless streams of kid visitors here) has/have/does make all the difference.

 

... Sometimes we're called to be the "other" mommy to kids who desperately need us. And you know what is great about that???!!! Those are quite often the kids whose lives we have the biggest impact on. Gotta love that!

 

But no matter where we stand in MommyLand... as long as we are standing in and with Christ, AND following not just our passions but also where HE leads, all is good.

 

:D

 

God Bless.

Lorelli

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Im a single mum so my answer to this question is the way I plan to have more kids is when God sends me a good Christian husband.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have 1 boy. . .I would like to have 2 more children. . . We are currently trying for #2, however, it will be hard to convince hubby to try for # 3. . .It's all about finances with hiim.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

Welcome to ChristianMom!

Celebrating 20 years of online fellowship, friendship and inspiration for Mom's of all ages. 

Join our community today !

Find us on Social Media

ChristianMom Staff

christianmom christianmom Administrators
admin admin Administrators
×
×
  • Create New...