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AmySwank

Husband Blues....

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My husbad just recently got a new job. He had been staying at home with our two little girls. He started three weeks ago and he has to work really long hours. So the girls are usually a sleep by the time he gets home. And he has to work on Saturday. He only gets Sunday and Monday off. But on Monday I am at work and the girls are at daycare. (Daycare is not going so well for my 2 year old) I think she is having a hard time adjusting to her daddy not being there all the time. But the biggest problem is on Sunday,the one day he gets to spend with his family he doesn't want to spend time with us. He has made plans to play golf with his buddies every Sunday afternoon. The only things we do as a family all week is go to church. And at church the girls are in the nursey and we don't really spend quality time together.

 

I just feel like he is not putting his family first. I feel like he is only thinking about his needs and is putting his friends before his wife and children. Has anyone ever experience this before. If so, I could really use some advice.

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My advice to you is pray. Pray first and then speak to him in love about how you are feeling. Have open communication, and allow God to work this out. :)

Hang in there!

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Without falling into the trap of husband bashing, I too know how you feel. My husband works crazy hours(different every week), & loves to volunteer for everything under the sun going on out at our church. I often tell him that he puts everyone elses needs before those of his family. His biggest problem is telling people no. Like the last reply you really need to tell him how you feel. And pray that he will listen to your heart. Your not telling him you don't want him to have fun with his buddies once in a while. But you are asking him to check his priorities.

 

I will say a prayer for you and your husband. God bless!

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Right now, our family is sort of in the same boat. My husband works late...so he is still sleeping when we leave in the mornings and he's gone when we get home from school in the late afternoon. Most days, my boys do not even see him...except on the weekends. That will be changing soon hopefully. He's finally being accepted for day shift...and will be starting in October.

 

Anyway, I do hope your situation is solved soon. I believe it's important for a family to be together and spend quality time together. Definitely let your husband know your feelings. You don't have to feel like a "nag" just because you make your concerns known. If your husband doesn't seem to respond ask him to go for some counseling on the matter with your pastor. It's better to fix things now than later when the problem grows out of hand.

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Amy,

My husband and I have been married for almost 4 years now. On our Wedding Day a very dear friend of mine gave me some very good advice and I took it to heart and do it everynight.

She simply told me to lay hands on him and pray for him as he slept. Until recently he never even knew that at sometime during the night I lay hands on him and pray for him. It still amazes him that I do this but I know that it is working!

Last December he and a co-worker were in a car accident and after seeing the truck that they were driving I knew without a doubt that my prayers and the Mighty Hand of God are what saved him that day!

All during the day when I think about him I ask God's blessing and protection for him!

"God Is Good"!

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;)

My husbad just recently got a new job. He had been staying at home with our two little girls. He started three weeks ago and he has to work really long hours. So the girls are usually a sleep by the time he gets home. And he has to work on Saturday. He only gets Sunday and Monday off. But on Monday I am at work and the girls are at daycare. (Daycare is not going so well for my 2 year old) I think she is having a hard time adjusting to her daddy not being there all the time. But the biggest problem is on Sunday,the one day he gets to spend with his family he doesn't want to spend time with us. He has made plans to play golf with his buddies every Sunday afternoon. The only things we do as a family all week is go to church. And at church the girls are in the nursey and we don't really spend quality time together.

 

I just feel like he is not putting his family first. I feel like he is only thinking about his needs and is putting his friends before his wife and children. Has anyone ever experience this before. If so, I could really use some advice.

 

Amy just know that I am praying for you.

Being married is by far the hardest thing a woman can do....Don't get me wrong I love my husband dearly and we have been married 13 yrs, but Men really do look at things differently. Be careful when you approach him with this....pray about it ahead of time and really truly tell God what is in your heart and ask him to speak for you when you talk to your husband. Ask God to give you the right words.....(believe me I have had to do this many times!!;) )

 

It sounds like this is a big change for all of you so chances are your husband is feeling the stress of it all as well, which would make sense as to why he is retreating with his friends to the golf course.

 

Also if you don't have it find the book Power of a Praying Wife. I checked it out from the library once and then decided to buy it so that I could write in it.;)

 

The good thing is you have found this site~ so you have unlimited support behind you and so many of us are praying for you. I hope this helps a little....

 

love in Christ~ Jen

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Although I have a lot of opinions about this, I will say that I am in agreement with RedsAngel about praying over your husband. I have not done this because my husband and I usually pray together. BUT I have prayed over my son as he was falling asleep/sleeping. I prayed SCRIPTURE over him and God's mighty power manifested itself in my son' life. Definitely look into getting the Power of a Praying Wife/Power of a Praying Parent books.

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Amy, I haven't experienced this, I have a very loving and supportive husband.

I pray right now in the Name of Jesus that the Lord will speak to your husband and show him what he needs to do. Amen

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I know where you are comming from hon! It will all get better. Our family is going throught this too. My husband works from 12-8:30p. I thought I would like this shift better, but I don't. I also feel like he is gone too long too. His company went through a major change, and his old position was done away with, so I should be happy that he still has a job, and I am. He likes his new position but he just wishes he had different hours. Our kids were used to thier dad being home in the evenings, and our 2 year old son is still trying to adjust. His won't go to bed until after daddy is at home, which is after 9pm. I just keep in mind that this is "only for a season" and that things may change. I don't work through the week now, and only work on Sat and Sun. (the only days that he is off work) but that helps us not have to pay for child care. Hubby's days are filled because he goes to school on Wed mornings, and then on Fri or Sat morning he mows yards. I believe husbands believe if they are "providing" income for the family, that this is what matters. In reality, we would just like for them to be there more! If you think about it, the season is almost up for mowing to stop, and also I bet your husband will be playing golf less too. Just be sure to give him his free day to be with his friends, or he will feel controlled, and that's not what you want. If there is any way possible, could you and your husband readjust your schedules any to spend time together? I used to try to fix supper through the week, but now I will fix breakfast in the mornings for my hubby instead. We also have started walking in the mornings as well, so that gives us some time too. I hope this helps! Sorry its so long!

 

Take Care,

Melissa

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