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heathbar

just don't get it

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What i'm about to say is from the heart and from what I endured as a child and it has shaken my faith. I don't go to church and i really don't pray too much anymore. So opposite than it used to be and totally opposite of how I grew up. My faith always got me through everything but it isn't really getting me through this much anymore. Christians always say trust God, believe in God, go to church, pray, follow the commandments, rebuke satan, be a witness. If you obey God's laws he will protect you...really where was he when I was 5???I don't really expect anyone to answer this posting scriptures won't answer my question. I was 5 yrs old, I was innocent, I obeyed my parents, and my elders yet God didn't protect me.

 

All these yrs I have believed that maybe had I prayed just a little more, or had I been just a little more faithful, had I not blackslid that maybe I would be in God's graces and he would have protected me more. I was but a helpless, child without a voice. I don't think it matters what I would have done. I was raised never to question God and his ways because they were law and they were to be lived by no matter what. Well guess what even though I did my best I was still stripped of my innocence and I was changed without my consent. So tell me what did I do so wrong to deserve this life sentence??? I do Ok I hang in I have bad days, good days, and sometimes awesome days, but that memory is forever etched into my mind and it changed me. I often wonder who I would have been had that not happened. Maybe I would have been weaker or more pathetic. Maybe that experience made me survive but none of that matters because God says he will protect you and he says to suffer not the little children to come unto me yet these things happen, when does the protection begin?

Edited by heathbar

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just writng what I just wrote above sends this wave of fear through my body like I'm going to burn in hell for even questioning God. I just don't understand how he could allow this to happen to me? where was he? where were my parents? I was alone, and NOBODY protected me NOBODY. Satan had his day with me and nobody did a damn thing to stop it. I'm even afraid of being angry with God for this

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My prescious and dear sister in the Lord......First let me tell you that you wont burn in hell for questioning God.. so whew.. that should bring some relief... wink...That is a lie from the devil to try to make you be overcome by guilt and not draw near to God!

 

Actually quite the contrary.... It takes GREAT FAITH TO QUESTION GOD. Look at King David. He questions God all throughout the Pslams and He is known as a man after God's own heart. God wants you to question and knows that you will. The fact that you feel that GOD was not with you is something all of us feel at one time in our life. What about the author of the famous poem, "Footprints" in the sand.... He questioned where God was in those darkest moments in his life. God's response was.( His gentle and loving response not condemning and guilt enducing response).. it was then that I carried you.

 

Not a single one of us has the answer to why certain things happen to us. I myself have had some very difficult and dark times in my own life; when I felt that GOD was not there or felt as though He had abandoned me. And guess what..... just like you I cried out... Hey GOD.... where are you???? I am praying, but I dont feel your near and I don't see any answers. !!!!

 

Don't beat yourself up for asking questions. It requires less faith to just say well this is what is.... BUT..... to know what is able to be brought your way and see that it is not shows that you are alive, breathing and active in your faith.

 

but we do know that.....God brings about suffering to produce and develope our faith and our character. How is He refining you through this. Are you allowing Him to work or are you resisting Him?

 

I dont know what happened to you when you were five. But, I know there are many times in my life when I felt the same. I see so much injustice in our world it breaks my heart. And you know what, I am sure it breaks God's heart too.

 

GOD promises to make ALL things work together for our Good, so He will do that for you. I know ...........you have probably heard that before and dont want to hear it again , but this time, let it offer you hope. Let it encourage you that GOD WILL make you to be victorious over these things in your life and allow them to make you better not bitter.

 

Some of those things happen because GOD wants to make an advocate for that injustice. For example... someone who gets raped, can lead an organization for raped Women and offer support to find Jesus in the middle of their tradgic and very unfair event. That is God birthing Good from a terrible injustic.

 

Unfortunatley, we do live in a fallen world with fallen and sinfully wicked humans who do very bad things to others. God has no control over our choices. But He can take all the broken bits and peices that came as a result of the hurt others did against us.... and begin again to fashion us make us into whole and complete AND NEW INDIVIDUALS!!!

 

Be strong and of good courage my dear sister that what has happened to you..... you are not alone. Many of us suffer, but we comfort one another through it! AND your GOD is near, you just cant see it ...YET!

 

 

God bless, and please know that God loves you despite the lies the devil or others are telling you!!!!

 

secondchance...

 

 

Lord , please reveal truth and your presence to heathbar. Help her to see you as the light at the end of her tunnel.. in Jesus name we ask this .. Amen!

Edited by secondchance

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It is all about the battle in the mind. The Lord is here to be with us in the battle. The sinister plot of the devil is to lure us into a trap. The devil is right there to kill, to steal, and to destroy. As for you, you can question God. Open your heart out and let him move freely into your life.

 

Talk to him as if you are talking to a person. :)

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I happened to be on here by chance and saw your post Heathbar, and I think most of us have questions just the same at some point in our lives. I read a good book that helped answer and put these things into perspective called How Could a Loving God? by Ken Ham. I believe that God was right there with you, feeling the pain that you feel and felt. I don't think anyone wishes pain on anyone, especially children. Many of the greatest witnesses I have seen have gone through terrible times of hardship and suffering. Perhaps none of what I am saying is helpful to you so I am going to stop now, but I hope you will sit down with that book and your bible and maybe be able to move forward in this area.

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thanks everyone, I just get in these moods sometimes and i know I'm not a victim I'm a survivor. but i still get fustrated and angry with all the injustice in the world

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Hey there:

This world sucks some times. I am not one to qote sripture, but what I know is that by giving humans free will, some really terrible things happen. I struggle with how much we controll, and how much God interveens, we know he is with us always, but there are certinaly times when human free will makes life here unbearble. In my work with children I have seen some crappy things, and it is diffacult to understand where Gods intervention is. Even in my own free will I have made chocies I wish I hadnt, - there is a scripture about true faith and religion being about helping others, and being unstained by this world, wich seems pretty impossible. Hang in there- no one can say they know what you are going through- but we are here for ya!

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Your more than a survivor girl- Your even more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus- You already have the Victory secure! Your protection from God, your Blessing Covenant- all the Promises of God given to the people of Israel begins to be put into action the very moment you place your faith in it, it is the faith of a child-simple and uncomplicated, if God said it I believe it-period, regardless of anything else in the physical realm that says something in opposition of it, regardless of my past or anything I have experienced before, regardless of what my 5 senses say, I believe God's Word is true and put my entire self at the mercy of His Word even unto death or torture I believe in it's truth. That is faith, and it is simple but not at all easy.

But you need hope before you can ever have faith. Hope comes first, without hope there can be no faith, without love there can be no hope , thus no faith comes and the devil can relax as you are no threat to him anymore. Well God says differently than the devil and God is in a higher authority than the devil. I assure you if you can reach one little hand out to God (and your post did that) for help He is there! God Loves You, let Jesus simply Love you, receive His Love and don't worry about meat of the Word so much right now, receive the Milk of His Love in His Word, it is full of Spiritual Nutrients you need to nourish your Spirit and receive Hope from above for your life.

When a person has been severely injured and is in hospital, they hook up IV to put into the person all the nutrients they need to give any hope of survival through the healing process of the ordeal they have been put through, even though they may have eaten a steak the night before the injury occurred, in this way when we as Christians have been through a tremendous injury of the soul and our very Spirit has been pained with grief and suffering of pain, we must return to the basic nourishment of His Milk found in The Word of His enduring Love for us and your hope must be restored as David's was when he hid in caves while being hunted down by Saul to be killed when God had said he'd be King. This can take some time, healing can be a slow process, wait until He has restored your Love for Him, that can only happen by first receiving His love for you. When Love in Jesus Christ has been firmly established then Hope in Him will flourish and your Faith in Him will be renewed. I am trusting Him for you right now, as someone did for me when my love for God was depleting so rapidly I screamed to the sky that I hated Him, His response, to me was I love you. I was so angry with Him due to severe injury of my soul, grief and pain had nearly snuffed the light of Jesus right out of me, I was barely holding on, but God's love in time restored my hope and this new hope moved me onto faith in Him once more and faith comes hand in hand with trust in Him, although it was a tenacious trust at first, I will admit, I was scared to death of God after what I had suffered when I thought I was doing the right thing by Him, then Bam with no warning, my life as I knew was torn from me and it happened very quickly and I was left nearly destitute. When I approach God I sometimes even now years later will tremble with fear, but I know He loves me and He redeemed me from the pit He had allowed to be there and He had allowed me to fall into and He has worked with me on my anger at Him for allowing this to happen with a steadfast love and patience that never ends. Because of what I suffered for Him and for continuing my walk with Him anyway, He answers every one of my prayers and all of Heaven is on my side. Though He allowed me to walk through a valley of death and experience an extreme amount of emotional pain, His assurance to me constantly of His love that never ends gives me the boldness I need to approach His throne of Grace.

I am standing for you, I pray some others more close to you where you are will come and stand for you and rally around you very soon! You need arms willing to be the arms of Jesus to give you hugs and wipe your tears. God sent me someone who literally wiped my tears with tissues for the weeks that I cried and someone else whose hugs just felt like a mother wrapping me in warmth and comfort. I pray God Blesses You like this too Heather.

Edited by DiamondRing

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Healthbar,

 

Thanks for having the courage to express your feeling

Because of your situation as a child God has given you courage.

Since being on this site you have demonstrated your courage and you ability

to reach others who are hurting as you do.

 

I love you

I know pain as you do different situation but same pain.

I know questions as you do

I stand pressing toward the mark to the higher calling in Christ Jesus

 

God does things that others are saved through you

God does things that you will know that He is God

God does things that you will forever trust Him

 

Look at your life it shows that you have truly trusted in Jesus

Look at your life you have warred a good fight and you continues to do so

God does things that you know that our redeemer lives.

You can only know by you life, experiences and pain, and suffering

Did not God make Jesus a powerful son through his suffering?

Jesus had to suffer and He paid the price for you and I.

You my dear is a powerful women.

 

You will lead many many to Christ, Study, find a bible class and learn

the things of God and how he works in live to save many.

God ways is not our ways, His ways are not as man see with man eyes.

I will pray that God will open your eye to see and hear what he has to say to you.

God just want us to love him and he has loved us before the foundation of this world and he still loves us.

 

I pray that you will continue to release your pain and God hear your cries.

God knows what you are going through.

Stay in the race, there is joy in the morning.

Edited by abc

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