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His_poema

Seeking advice from other moms of divorced parents

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Hi Mamas out there! I'm new to this forum, so please handle with grace. So here goes: I'm a first time Mama and my lovely baby turns 1 in two months (so crazy fast)! Since this whole pandemic and quarantine has happened, we're not even sure if we will do a small celebration for her with the grandparents, uncles, aunties etc. That being said, if we do decide to do a small get together (and if it's safe) I'm kind of concerned about one sticky situation. See, my parents are divorced and they haven't spoken since my wedding day (~8 years ago). They are not on the best of terms and it was a bad split. Thankfully God has healed me from it, but my parents are still a work in progress. Well, when my baby was born, I had a conversation with my dad about being more open minded to coming around for special celebrations for the sake of his granddaughter, even if it meant my mom would be around. Suffice it to say, It didn't end well and he hasn't really been involved or engaged in my baby's life since her birth. But, quarantine has sort of weighed in on that too. Well, since my parents don't speak to each other, I'm not sure what to do about inviting my dad (& possibly his g/f) to my baby's celebration. My mom doesn't get along with her since she had a part in the divorce. My in-laws and mom get along just fine and so does the rest of my family and husband's family, but my dad is the black sheep who doesn't want to accommodate some of his comfortability for a few hours a year. I don't want to constantly create two separate celebrations for my baby just for the sake of my dad, but I also don't want to exclude him. I also wonder if I should invite him (or keep inviting him). I want my baby to have good memories on her birthdays and holidays, but I also don't want to force my dad to do something he doesn't want to do. I'm just not sure how to handle this dilemma. I would really appreciate input or advice from other Christian Moms that come from divorced parents. Thank you!🙏🏼

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Welcome to the site. I am excited to meet you, and get to understand your gifts and talents from God to share with all of us. In return we will also share ours with you. As I read your post this whole situation is about your dad and mom has a difficult time being in the same space.

Sometimes, time will heal wounds. You talked about it being eight years. It can be difficult to engage in trying to do what your heart desires. People are different and you have to allow for your family to work it out where they can all be in one space together. Sometimes it is not possible.

My parents separated, and remained friends. So, it was easy for my dad, and mom to be in the same space. However, that is rare. You may have to accept the change, and continue to allow for different times for them to interface with your daughter.

One advice, you could talk to each of them separately, regarding forgiveness. One who wants forgiveness, must also be able to forgive. You have to do the research on that topic and just begin to communicate with each of them and pray for them until God touches their hearts.

What you do not want to do, is force them to be in the same space. That could cause bigger problems. It is not much you can do, if the two of them will not forgive.  I do know that prayer changes things, and studying the topic will help you as well. If you are well versed  and prepare to communicate forgiveness. You will be able to plant a seed in them, and God will provide the increase.

Father God we pray for this situation.

Father God we pray that you will draw the parents into a closer relationship with you, therefore being in that relationship will teach them how to forgive.

You have provided a way for us to be forgiven, and coming to that understanding of forgiveness can help this situation.

Father God give, His_poema, peace in this situation, give her wisdom and prepare her to do your will in this situation.

Father we pray this prayer in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

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