Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
naejeirual

Spacing of Children

Recommended Posts

We're so silly... with our first child arriving any moment now, my husband and I have found ourselves in conversations recently about the spacing of future children... prehaps it's because very soon we will be finding ourselves on fertile footing again. Ultimately, we figure that any future children we have will be "planned" in the same manner as the first... following where we feel the Lord is leading us... but we believe that part of God's leading is through knowledge, experience, and wisdom from people who love Him. So with that said, I'm curious to know - what factors influenced the spacing of your children?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My children are about 18 months apart. We didn't plan it that way, but I wouldn't change it now. I would have liked our 3 child to be closer in age to my second son, but it doesn't look like that will happen. We've been trying for #3 for a bit now and nothing so far.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think it's good to have children close together. My closest sibling above me is 12 years, and below me is 5. Needless to say, I'm not close to any of them. I was more of an only child. My husband and his sisters are only a few years apart, but it makes for a much closer connection. Some "experts" will say that sibling rivalry is less when children are spaced 3-5 years apart. I don't agree at all. I live in a historic town. I remember when most streets were not paved. Talking with the older people of the community, they all feel that their children were more connected being spaced closely. I also think having a lot of kids is good. The Bible refers to children as blessings. I think of families who have only one or two children. When they get older, and they meet for holidays, there are only a few of them. No excitement, not so much joy. Just quiet and cold. Of course I come from a traditional Hispanic background, where everyone is loud and boistrous and joyful and giving. You'd have to see the movie Fools Rush In to better understand the Hispanic Family.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3 yrs apart

 

We were very deliberate in the spacing of our 2 children. We had them right at 3 years apart and it was just perfect for us. It sounds a little silly now, but one of the reasons was so that I didn't have to have 2 in diapers at the same time! :D I got my son potty trained just 2 months before his little sister came along. He LOVED her, was able to understand the whole idea of having a baby in the house, was well on his way to being able to be diciplined by time outs (as opposed to spankings) which ment that I didn't have to stop nursing her to get up and spank him if he got in trouble for something...just a good scolding and told him to go on time out from my chair! He didn't need to be carried at the age of 3, and he didn't need to be in a stroller anymore so that made it easy as well. The best part was that he was able to understand how to play with her and keep her company by that age. He was her little hero! They are now 8 and 11 and get along just fine. I love how they do so much together, and yet they have their own distinct personalities and friends. It's nice to know that financially as well that 3 year wait will make it easier to pay for the upcomming braces and college expenses down the line!;) I just love having them 3 years apart and look forward to watching how they continue to relate to each other in the future. I thank God every day for them and for His perfect timing (and for letting us have some control over that timing in this case!:) )

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My sister and I are 2 1/2 years apart (I'm the oldest). Growing up, we could hardly stand each other. We got into fights all the time, not every time was just verbal. My sister promises me that she hit me in the back of the knee with an axe handle, but I don't remember it at all. I know I've punched her as hard as I could and I've thrown her down some stairs before. I cried every time I did something to hurt her....especially when I saw her crying....and she'd laugh in my face and walk off, even though I KNOW that I hurt her. It wasn't until I moved out at 18 that we finally had gotten closer. Now I'm closer to her than I am my parents.

 

 

We only have one child right now. We've discussed, ideally, how far apart we'd like each child to be.....but ultimately, it is in His Hands. I don't really care how close or far apart they come for I know that whenever it happens, it is His Perfect Will.....and that is all that matters.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Kids got to love them

 

My son are 2 1/2 years apart. It just happened. And they fight all the time now they are 12 and 15 and still fighting. If I kiss one the other still say what about me and he know I am reaching for him next. GRRRRRrrrrrr I cant wait untill they become friends I just hope it wont be like me and my brother we are 2 yrs and a few days apart and I just started calling his phone number, more than on birthdays or fathers day. All this to say I agree its in Gods perfect timing and not ours.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We did not plan any of our children ((smile)) , they were just surprises sent from God (smile)!!:)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Because there was such a gap between my sisters and me(5 & 10 years) I really wanted my kids to be closer. Our girls are 2 years and 6 weeks ;o) apart. The Lord has really blessed us!! Most often they are the best of friends, but we work really hard to encourage that. I think if we didn't, our girls could very well see favoritism as a reason for strife. Even though my husband and I adore them both equally, I can see that the oldest gets along better with Dad and the youngest Mom. This could really cause a lot of problems if we weren't aware of it, kwim?

 

We also spend a lot of time together as a family and also take time individually with each girl, too. This has really helped in strengthening our relationships. The girls are 9 and 7 now and still super close, not that they never argue(believe me they do!)!!

 

Blessings,

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

naejeirual,

 

I hope the revival of this thread hasn't upset you.

 

It's amazing though, to look back and see how the Lord has worked, preparing you for another child even before your little daughter' brief appearance in your lives.

 

with Love in Him

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

Welcome to ChristianMom!

Celebrating 20 years of online fellowship, friendship and inspiration for Mom's of all ages. 

Join our community today !

Find us on Social Media

ChristianMom Staff

christianmom christianmom Administrators
admin admin Administrators
×
×
  • Create New...