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Just a fun little poll

Just a fun little poll  

157 members have voted

  1. 1. Just a fun little poll

    • I am
      20
    • My husband is
      116
    • Other, please specify
      21


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It would seem, in general (at least in the U.S), that the role of "Head of the Household" is becoming more of a female role than a male role. Not all the time in non-believing families either.

 

So, who would you say (honestly) runs your household?

--------------------------------

 

Being a sahm, my flesh at times wants to just scream at my husband, who works 40 (sometimes 40+) hrs a week, "Who do you think you are? I'M the one here all the time!" That is wrong, of course. And I don't do that, but it's what my flesh wants to do. Our flesh is in constant battle with our Spirits, Amen? The Bible clearly states how the household should be run.....with the husband as the head, under our Lord and Savior.

Though, at times, my flesh gets the better of me....and it slowly and slightly tries to get it's grubby little fingers on an inch of the leadership at a time (give the devil an inch and he'll take the whole ruler, eh?)....I do try to submit myself under the role in which He has placed me in....a helpmate and companion to my husband.

It's a role that is seeming to be lost....or being pushed away....at least in my neck of the woods....but it is the role that we, as wives, are to take.

-------------------------------

 

Your opinions and thoughts on this matter?

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1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

 

 

These verses would show us that the man is the Head of the home.

Although the day to day running of the home and raising the children does fall to the wife

 

Proverbs 31:10-31

 

The major decisions ulimately belong with the man.

 

It isn't always easy but marriage is a partnership :

Matthew 19:6 Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

if out bodies are one our minds should be too.

 

A saying of my bro-in-law:

" the man is the Head of the house , but the woman is the neck who turns the head "

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Good One

 

Ah what a wonderful topic for discussion!

 

It has been a struggle for me to relinquish the 'Head of Household' position. It has been through much prayer and self control that I let Whit have the final word...and actually be at peace with it. Sure I still handle 85% of the household happenings, but he is dubbed HOH :D

 

Luckily he is a conversationalist and very open minded, God has blessed me many times over.

 

Love in Christ

-Eileen

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Thank you very much, Wonka2, for posting those Scriptures. I knew round abouts where what I was looking for was, but I didn't have time to go look for it at that moment. Had to hurry because my baby was getting fussy as I was typing that.

 

I, too, agree. The husband is the HOH, but day to day running of the house often falls to the wives. Primary reason for this being, the husbands are at work while the wives are home with the children......or, in cases of working moms, the wives are usually the ones to get off of work first usually.

 

Wonka2, good saying of your bro-in-law! lol

 

The main reason it has been a struggle, at times, for me to hand over the HOH role to my husband is because I've always had to do things myself, or they wouldn't get done. Not in my marriage, by any means.....but in the 3 year relationship I was in before my marriage.

The Lord has blessed me greatly with the man He gave me to marry. He paired me with someone who is very simular to the way I am, so we tend to agree on 97% of things and whatever we don't agree on, we come to a mutual decesion on. Very rarely does my husband truly assert his HOH role and put his foot down firmly on something.

 

I totally agree with the statement that marriage is a partnership. And, no, it is not always easy. But if both stay firmly rooted in God's Word and Prayer (TOGETHER as much as possible), then that does tend to make things a bit easier.

 

Got to check some other things out, then I gotta knock out those dishes so someone can make dinner tonight before Church.

 

Blessings upon you all...

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I think that "the man is the Head of the house , but the woman is the neck who turns the head " is the perfect desciption for our house. I would love to state with full assurance that my husband is the head of the house but I think we are still growing and maturing and working the kinks out. I try very hard to relinquish final authority to him but he comes from a home where his father wasn't really the head but more the guys that lived there and did whatever he wanted when he wasn't working. The role model has my husband feeling a little lost over how he's supposed to fit in to household business. And I want so much to support him in being the head but sometimes if I'm too direct with my "advice" on how he can do that it feels very much like I'm the head, not him. It helps that we both have his leadership as our goal and are open about our intentions to create that balance.

 

Right now I think our biggest advancement is in the realm of purchasing expensive electronics (computers, TV, stereos)... my husband is the typical male who totally gets into these things but I get a little concerned over the rate of replacement... I'm not so worried that we can't afford it but moreso that it isn't being the best stewards (and he's not over the top... just not as modest as my instinct is). But, I share this with my husband and whenever he is itching to buy something he asks me my honest opinion on the timing and the dollar amount and I give it to him. Then, using what I've said as his excuse, he stalls and stalls a new purchase until it truely is more reasonable and responsible. He ends up feeling happy with his purchasing decision and confident in his power to make the decision, while I feel as if I've been a Godly wife who is supporting (not controlling) her husband towards living the life God desires. I know, it may sound silly... but we're working on applying this same balance to the rest of life and when we get there I think we'll be "there".

 

Laurie

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He his the head

 

He is the head but I am the neck hee hee. I desire to follow the scriptures as best as I can so therefore I attempt to submit as best I can. :D

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God is the head of our household. The reason the Lord tells wives to be subject to their husbands and husbands to love their wives in Eph. ch. 5 is because we naturally do the other - it is easier for husbands to be subject to their wives and for wives to love their husbands. Also, the husband as the head of the wife typifies Christ as the Head of the Church.

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"As for me and my house we will serve the Lord."

 

Then it is my husband and then myself.

We both have characteristics and abilities that make us more in charge of certain things. For example, I am the one who usually works out the finances. He is the one who EARNS most of it!

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To me a husband and wife should both be "head of the household". Marriage is about compromise and partnership. Why should one be boss over the other? Sure the bible makes mention of men over women but native americans view it this way....

 

Men are in charge of hunting, fishing, protection, etc.

Women are in charge of making the house a home, to be the foundation to a happy family, to be the main care giver to the children and raise them in a good way.

 

Men have their roles. Women have theirs. This isn't a sexist thing. Sure either sex could do any of the roles, but to have harmony men and women must work together, thus being joint head of households. Neither one is MORE important than the other. They are BOTH important. BOTH have influence on decisions made in the household.

 

But I also feel as though the Lord is the head of our house.

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Of course both the husband and the wife are important and have influence - they are a team... they are one flesh. But we can all see by looking at this world that God created that there is only one head per body. God designated that within the martial body, the husband should be the head. The Bible very specifically states that the husband's role is to be the head and to love his wife the way Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:22-28). There will simply be times when the husband and wife don't agree and someone has to give - God has placed upon the husband the responsibility to make the final decision in these circumstances while the wife is to submit. This position doesn't make the husband the boss; God is still the boss. Being the head of the household means that the husband is directly accountable to God for the paths he leads the family down. This is actually not a priviledged position for the husband but one that puts the pressure of the family's spiritual well-being directly on his shoulders.

 

Laurie

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Of course both the husband and the wife are important and have influence - they are a team... they are one flesh. But we can all see by looking at this world that God created that there is only one head per body. God designated that within the martial body, the husband should be the head. The Bible very specifically states that the husband's role is to be the head and to love his wife the way Christ loves the church (Ephesians 5:22-28). There will simply be times when the husband and wife don't agree and someone has to give - God has placed upon the husband the responsibility to make the final decision in these circumstances while the wife is to submit. This position doesn't make the husband the boss; God is still the boss. Being the head of the household means that the husband is directly accountable to God for the paths he leads the family down. This is actually not a priviledged position for the husband but one that puts the pressure of the family's spiritual well-being directly on his shoulders.

 

Laurie

 

Perhaps it is the wording that bothers me the most. I do understand what you are saying though. Just in my native culture, the man goes to council about various decisions. However, a loving husband consults his wife for her thoughts and then comes to a mutual decision and even compromise. Then he is off to the council to convey THEIR point. Basically, the point I was making was that even though the husband is off as the head of household, look at the bigger picture. BOTH are indeed head of household. Sure, the husband may speak for the wife in certain occassions, but if he is respectful and loving, he still discusses it with his wife.

 

This discussion is a matter of perspective. When one looks at all perspectives, one can see the bigger picture at work.

 

But on a side note....

 

I am widowed. When he was alive, he made the final decisions. If I am ever to marry again, I am content in placing my husband as head of household, deemed by society. I am perfectly happy being a housewife, mother, and a loving wife when he returns from work. I am one of the few women that wasn't too happy about women's lib. Why?

I can see the bigger picture and what damage it has ultimately done. Also, if you had a loving husband, it all worked on anyway.....and our children (the future) were happier. (oops...all together another topic...sorry)

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I think you're right - it seems we are saying the same thing, just using different verbiage!

 

Laurie

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my husband is hoh i'm just the neck turning. As for me and my house we will serve the lord.

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My husband is the leader of the house. My role is be is helper. I'm able to put my input and speak up when something seems wrong but the ultimate decision is the one my husband makes.

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Hubby leads the home!

 

My husband is the head of our house. He makes the final call on all our decisons. He will ask for my input and we will usaually come to a mutual agreement. But sometimes I just need to surrender and follow. For example moving with his job.I don't always want to do it, but I know I need to. We are soon moving again, to Minnesota. I am kind of excited. When I was asked if I really wanted Minnesota by his boss, I smiled and said, "I have to follow my husband" He smiled and said, "your a good wife" I simply thought nothing of it, I was doing what I was called by my savior to do.

 

Everyone else took the words right out of my mouth.I do agree that the husband is held accountable for his headship. But we are also held accountable for how we submit. It is a struggle to do sometimes, but God designed it for order within the house, not to take away our significance as woman. God always has his reasons for doing things. :) that should be our encouragement!

 

Second chance

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My husband and I have been married just 2 years, but we make decisions as a team, with the Lord God being the HEAD of our household.

 

A verse that we cling too is this Proverbs 3:5-7; "Trust in the Lord with all thine Heart and lean not on thine own understanding; In all thy ways acknowledge Him and He will make thy paths straight ..... we have found this verse to be a "STRONGHOLD" for us.

 

RedsAngel

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Whose in charge?

 

I guess I would have to say my husband is. I am glad of this too. When we have major decisions to make, we look at the situation together and whatever he thinks is best I stand by it. I have had an awful time in trusting not just him, but God in general. Can anybody testify to that? It has been a long hard road, and sometimes when I think I've just about got it whupped, anxieties, fear, and doubts come rushing back in! Then of course I tell God, "you made me, so I know I'm not any surprise to you in what I let get me stirred up." I go grabbing a bunch of powerful scriptures, start praying in the spirit, and allow Him to put me back in His arms once again. Trust. It's a tough one.

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Other, God by way of our Lord Jesus Christ is the head of this household.

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My husband is HOH. At first it was hard for me to submit. But the more I got into God's word I realized that this was the plan that was set out for husbands and wives Eph. 5:23. Yes, I do run the house during the week since my husband is a truckdriver but I always seek his counsel and inform him of the day to day happenings. So he still has say in what goes on while he is gone. When he comes home on the weekends he take over the role. That is where I had the problem of submission and I was wanting to keep control no matter what. Thankfully my ways have changed and I am glad to have him running the House.

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My husband is, like it was said in other replys, Man is the head of the house I am my husbands helper. And very happ to be it

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I would say that my husband is, he was the head of our family, but he passed on last year.

So I guess now I'm counting on the Lord to be the head of my household.

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